


Vriska: Enact 8each Shenanigans

by Shenaniganon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Multi, Outdoor Sex, POV Second Person, Public Sex, Threesome - F/F/F, Threesome - F/F/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:38:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7143050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenaniganon/pseuds/Shenaniganon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on a group trip to the beach, Vriska swipes Terezi's bikini bottoms before Terezi notices as a prank.  Terezi continues to fail to notice until John and Roxy show up on the scene, at which point Vriska realizes she is simply too good at pranks for her own good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But yeah, you’re absolutely gonna do it.

“…but TH1S is the one I’m really proud of. Look at it! The scar pretty much goes all the way down my back! I really had him pent up when he left me TH4T one.”

You sigh and roll your eyes, not that your conversation partner could notice the second one, or that she’d care about the first one. You are VRISKA SERKET, and you’re really getting tired of listening to your moirail go on and on about her incredible prowess at hate-fucking.

It’d be one thing if you could get away from her at the moment, but this beach that Strider suggested for an afternoon of beachside entertainment only had the one nearby shack set up for restrooms and changing, so unless you want to go flashing your rumble spheres to everyone in the vicinity, you’ll have to get changed in here. And, unfortunately, the only other person still in the changing room with you is the troll girl showing off her assortment of, as she calls them, “battle-scars”.

Usually, being in Terezi’s presence wouldn’t be a problem – again, moirails, and her constant gushing about her sex life 8n’t gonna be breaking that up anytime soon. But ever since she managed to cackle her way into an improbable caliginous relationship with John, you’re finding her company to be more…draining that usual. It’s just a phase, and you know it…they’ve only really been going at it for a couple weeks or so, and she’ll probably cool it once some time passes.

But time has yet to pass, so here you are, trying to shimmy into your one-piece racing swimsuit as fast as you can, doing everything in your power to NOT listen to the origin story of yet another blemish left by her devoted kismesis.

“…oh, this one’s pretty cute too. I think it was the first time he bit me hard enough to break the skin! It’s from a while back, so it’s starting to heal up, but…”

Nope. You can’t do it. Her shrill voice is one thing, but the overwhelming…satisfaction…that lingers throughout her words is making it impossible for you to ignore. You glance over at her with an exasperated look on your face, though you realize she can’t even see it, as she points to an, admittedly, fairly cute bit of tooth marks on her collarbone.

As you consider whether to actually respond, your eyes drift to her outfit. She’s got a particularly daring string bikini on. Black with teal trim for the top, to go with a rather skimpy black bottom, with her sign in teal emblazoned on the front. Terezi might not exactly be the curviest of your friends, but she definitely knows how to work what she’s got…

Hmmm. For whatever reason, your eyes keep drifting to her bottom…no, don’t look at the butt, rails don’t pail, c’mon Serket, eyes elsewhere…yeah, the strings. Looks like she didn’t tie one side very well…might slide off pretty easily. You should probably let her kn…

Hang on.

Oh, that’s a terrible idea. Why would you do that? She IS your moirail, and as great a prank as it might be, you don’t think you’d actually….

“Hehee…oh, almost forgot about you, little pelvis scratch. You’re a fun one, too, back when…”

But yeah, you’re absolutely gonna do it.

You caaaaaaaasually slide up next to Terezi, feigning interest in the newest scar she’s showing off. “Oh, that one is really cute! Though, to be honest, Pyrope, I’m hoping to see if you give as good as you get. John always hides his scars after a night with you…well, he tries to, anyway, the poor boy…so I’m looking forward to seeing what little presents you’ve left on him.”

Terezi giggled happily in response to your praise. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be V3RY impressed with my handiwork. He does heal up, quickly, though…god-tiering does suck the fun out of a few things…but I make sure to leave plenty of new reminders of our nights together…”

You quickly tune her out, as your hand slowly…sloooooooowly…creeps down towards the loose knot on her bikini bottom. You feel the string brush up against your hand, and you begin, very gently, to pull the string. It offers a slight bit of resistance at first, but just a moment later, you feel it pulling free. A quick glance down confirms the job is done, though the bottoms haven’t slid down yet. You wait a second, pretending to listen as Terezi finishes her story…confirming, of course, that she has yet to notice a change in her downstairs situation.

“Well, hey! Don’t let me keep you hanging.” You give Terezi a quick clap on the shoulders as you back away and finish slipping into your swimsuit. “I’m not the one you reeeeeeeeally want to show off to, right? Go on, John’s waiting for you…I’ll catch up in a bit.”

“Yeah…okay!” Terezi flashes her smile, filled as always with intimidatingly sharp teeth, as she backs out of the changing room. She turns to you and waves, calling out, “See you out there!” before she hurries out of the room.

You listen to her footsteps as they fade into the distance…eventually disappearing from earshot, presumably as she hits the sand. You turn, smiling, and glance down at the ground.

A strip of cloth sits on the ground. Black, with strings. A little sign in teal on the front.

You pick up the bottoms, thinking about what you should do with this. You…suppose you’ll hang on to it, so that you can “luckily” find them once the joke has gone on long enough. Sadly, your outfit lacks a good place to really hide something…but you improvise, and stuff the illicit piece of cloth down the front of your swimsuit, between your breasts. Not exactly…comfortable, to be honest, but it’s hidden, at least.

You wait just a second more, confirming in the mirror that the cloth cannot be seen poking out anywhere. Pleased with the results, you stride out of the changing room. You’ll have to stay out of Terezi’s earshot…or…smell-zone, whatever. Don’t want to be the one to give away the game at the start, after all.

This is gonna be fun.


	2. That, uh…that happened quickly.

You start trailing Terezi, picking up the pace. Fortunately, she hasn’t gotten particularly far yet, so you catch up fairly quickly. You take a moment to admire your work…and kinda wonder how she has still failed to notice that her nook is on full display. Honestly, for someone with a fascination for detective work and being a cunning manipulator, Terezi has a tendency to be pretty oblivious to some things.

She keeps on strutting down the beach, heading past the rock formation between the changing room/bathroom building and where your crew set up camp a bit earlier…it’s a decent walk to get there, which annoyed you at first, but…right now, you’re not really minding that it’ll take Terezi a while to get to the others. You’re…kinda starting to feel bad? 

I mean, you shouldn’t, this is completely hilarious, but the closer she gets to base camp, the closer she gets to showing everyone in camp the goodies. And that scenario’s getting a little less funny every second that passes.

Sure, you’re thinking of a few of the reactions she’ll be getting, and they’re making you laugh. You can almost see Jade and her doppelganger going bright red and being adorably awkward the second they realize what’s going on, with John and what’s-his-face English not far behind them…well, maybe not John, considering it won’t be a new sight for him. Rose’ll probably give her some kudos for the diligent work Terezi puts into her personal maintenance, while Kanaya will blush bright jade as she awkwardly nods in agreement. And Roxy’ll definitely give her a whistle and hit on her…though, then again, she is John’s matesprit…maybe she’s already seen it too, and she won’t be fazed? You know what, you can think about that later.

Cause right now you’re thinking of the others’ reactions. And those thoughts are the ones that are making you feel bad. You can practically already hear Strider giving Terezi a hard time about it, trying to make it funny in his insufferable cool-douchey way, while Other Strider makes everybody really uncomfortable by staring completely shamelessly and muttering something incomprehensibly obtuse about...no, stop thinking about him, you can never get a handle on that one. 

And that leaves…Vantas.

Uuuuuuuugh.

Cause yeah, things weren’t weird enough between those two, what with the sweeps-old romance problems and all that entailed. Sure, they say they’ve been “over” it for a while now, but it’s one thing to say it when one party isn’t showing the other a clear view of their nook. Best case scenario, he freezes up and doesn’t get over it for…oh, about a week. Worst case, he completely flies off the fucking handle, goes into his impossible overbearing mode, making everyone in the vicinity feel awful, most of all Terezi, and…

“JOOOOOHN!”

Pyrope’s shrill voice pulls you out of your thoughts, and you quickly lean over the rocks to get a look at the situation. Terezi is jogging a bit, and sure enough, a little bit further on, you can see a dorky human in sky-blue swim trunks sitting down, resting his back against the cliffs.

John Egbert. As always, the hero you need.

You’re not feeling that bad anymore…thinking about it, this is pretty much the best way this could have turned out.

“John! Hey! What are you doing out here, you nerd!”

You can see John grimace a bit as he fails to ignore Terezi calling his name. He starts getting up, rubbing his head as he grumbles, “Nothing…I was just taking a walk by the water…I guess I was dozing off a bit? Anyway, what was taking you so long to get cha…?”  
John’s words died in his throat right there, and he stumbles as he tries to get to his feet. You can tell that, however much he may have been dozing off a second ago, he is wide awake right now. And his eyes are absolutely locked on Terezi’s nether regions, his mouth hanging open just a bit as he is clearly trying and failing to make sense of this bullshit he is currently looking at.

“Ohhh, just dozing out here, all by yourself? You wouldn’t happen to have been waiting for me, were you…?” Terezi giggles as she stops in front of John, remaining completely oblivious to his gaze as she starts teasing her kismesis. “I know it must be sooo boring without me around, but I can’t be around you every second of the day, John!”

“Uh…sure…no, I mean…that’s…Terezi, what…” John is completely failing to get his thoughts in order, stumbling through his words as he starts trying to look in any direction but the one the bare-bottomed troll is currently positioned in. He glances at the rocks, at the ocean, anywhere that’s not Terezi, at the sky, at…

Oh shit, he just saw you.

You were enjoying the sight so much that you forgot to keep yourself hidden. Dammit, it looks like he’s about to call out to you and give the game away. Gotta think fast!

You quickly put a finger to your lips, hoping he takes the hint and keeps his mouth shut…which, surprisingly, he does. Okay, imminent crisis averted. Now, to get him to play along…hmmmm….

Aha. An idea pops into your head.

Keeping your finger to your lips, you smirk as your other hand dives into your cerulean swimsuit, sliding between your breasts and quickly producing Terezi’s bottoms, which you show John very quickly, making sure he can see Terezi’s sign on the cloth. His bewildered blush shows that he recognizes what you have shown him. Good. You return the garment to its hiding place, then flick your eyes at Terezi’s direction, giving John a suggestive wink. 

Every fiber of your body tries to silently tell John, ‘C’mon, when are you gonna get a chance to tease her like this again?’  
John stares at you for a second…any longer, and Terezi’d start wondering why he’s being so quiet. Then, finally, he smirks back at you, and returns your wink.

Yessssssss!

You scoot back to hide yourself again as John looks back towards Terezi, who’s giving him a quizzical look. John’s smile widens as he says, “Sorry, still kinda waking up. You, uh…you look really good, Terezi. Very...daring, and…uh…”

“What’s wrong, John? Did I really render you speechless with the awesome power of an illicit bikini?” Terezi cackled, seizing the opportunity to tease her kismesis but failing to recognize the reason why that teasing wasn’t having the intended effect, as you could tell John was doing everything he could to avoid laughing. Really, how she had yet to realize the situation she was in was getting downright dumbfounding at this point.

“Well…I mean, it is very…uh…impressive.” John stumbles through his words as he’s clearly struggling with what to say and where to look. Honestly, your first look at John’s teasing game is a little disappointing, but you’ll guess this isn’t a normal situation, so you’ll cut him a little slack. Besides, you can tell that he’s clearly enjoying the situation you’ve made happen…on many levels, as a quick gaze at his trunks lets you know. 

Aw yeah, that’s an erect Human Boy Thing right there. This prank is already paying dividends.

“Impressive, huh? Is that all you have to say? Well, I am fairly proud of this piece, and it’s good to see that it’s having a good…effect on you as well.” Terezi snickers as she sniffs the air, apparently sensing the same thing that you noticed just a second ago. John instinctively steps back, shifting in his trunks to try and conceal his boner. Not that it’ll do him any good, now that Terezi’s locked on to the scent, and his attempts to hide his reaction is only making her giggle more. “Come on, John, don’t be embarrassed! You can look as much as you want…in fact, why don’t I…”

Just then, Terezi does a little turn in place and wiggles her hips just a bit, with the intention of showing off how well her bottoms show off her backside. Of course, said bottoms remain trapped between your breasts, so what she’s actually doing is showing John her bare-naked ass, as well as flashing her nook in your direction. You don’t have any problem saying that Terezi’s nook is quite charming, with a lovely little tuft of jet black hair that draws in your gaze. Honestly, you can see why it’s having such a good effect on John, but considering the excellent view of her shapely rear end you’ve had ever since this little prank started, you’re fairly certain that effect won’t be diminished now that John’s gone from staring at her privates to her butt.

Sure enough, that little hip-wiggle gets John to start blushing furiously, but it seems the humor of the situation is finally getting to him, as he fails to stifle a chuckle at Terezi obliviously shaking her ass at him. Terezi’s smile drops, switching to a more confused look as she seems to be wondering why her little show is getting a rather unusual reaction. “What? Is there something funny going on, John?”

“Heheh…no, I mean…no, there’s nothing….pfft…” John’s laughs keep leaking out as Terezi turns back to him, again giving him a good look at her nethers, which only makes his laughs harder to conceal. Looks like this is probably the end of your fun…Terezi’s caught on that something strange is happening, and John’s probably not gonna be able to last any longer…

“Joooohn! There you are!”

Another voice suddenly calls out, drawing everyone’s attention to the other side of the rock formation, towards the way to your beach spot. You crane your neck out from your hiding space and look over the rocks to see Roxy Lalonde waving to John as she walks toward where he and Terezi are standing, wearing her cute, bubblegum-pink bikini with a short skirt covering her bottoms. She starts jogging slightly as she approaches the others, giving John a hug as she says, “Was wondering where you got off to! Guess you found Terezi, huh? What’s up, Rez, finally decided to join…the rest of…”

Roxy’s sentence trails off as her gaze follows John’s eyes downwards, eventually landing upon the same bare nook he’s been fixated on the last few minutes. Terezi apparently takes notice of the human girl’s odd reaction and asks, “You guys are being R34LLY weird, even for you two. What’s going on?”

Remaining silent for a moment, Roxy turns to John with a confused look. John shrugs, subtly pointing his finger in the direction of your hiding place. Oh crap, you forgot to hide again, and Roxy catches sight of you before you manage to get back out of view. Somehow, you don’t think you’ll be able to get Lalonde to go along with the joke the way John did, so in the end you just kind of chuckle and shrug in response to her questioning stare. 

Roxy turns back to Terezi, apparently processing the current situation for a second, before she finally bursts out laughing.

“WH-WH4T 3X4CTLY is so funny, Lalonde?!” Terezi seems a bit taken aback by Roxy’s reaction as the laughter continues, even infecting John as his chuckles from a moment ago return as full on laughter as well. You’re struggling to keep yourself from joining them and blowing your cover.

“It’s…I mean…oh, man, this is too much.” Roxy fights through her giggles to try and form a sentence. “I can’t…she really hasn’t noticed anything, John?”

“Nope! Not a thing for the last few minutes!” John answered through his own laughter. 

“Okay, now I’m getting really weirded out.” Terezi growled at the two humans as her patience started wearing thin. “Can you two just let me in on this little joke you seem to be finding so funny?”

“Oh man, this’s just fucking perf.” Roxy’s laughter started subsiding as she looked back at Terezi before continuing. “Aha…all right, Terezi…Rezi. Rez.”

“…what?” Terezi sighed.

Roxy beamed at her and asked, “What happened to your bottoms, Rez?”

“What are you…” Terezi’s words trailed off as the realization washes over her. She pats at her hip, suddenly realizing a lack of the strings that had been there a few minutes before. Her hands quickly moved to her backside, and you could tell that a little bit of panic was starting to set in a she realized there was no cloth there either. She lets out a loud “What the fuuuuck!” as her hand finally make it to her front, once again failing to feel any cloth covering her completely uncovered nook. 

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking the last few seconds too.” Roxy walked over to Terezi, who was now trying to hide her nook with her hands, and patted her on the shoulder. “Kinda thought you forgot to pack ‘em at first. Like you just said ‘fuck it, gonna show off what I GOT’ and came out like this. Which actually woulda been pretty badass, to be honest.”

“No! I…I mean, I W4S wearing them just a minute ago!” Terezi started whipping her head around, sniffing in all directions as she tries to locate her missing bottoms, making you glad that you made sure to stay out of her sniff-range. “They must have…fallen off somewhere, and…”

“How did you not even notice you weren’t wearing any bottoms, exactly?” John was smiling as he finally got back in the tease-game. “I would think it’s fairly easy to tell that you aren’t decent below the waist, right?”

“Shut up! I don’t wanna hear…W41T.” Terezi barked at John and turned back to him. “You knew about it this whole time! That’s why you were being so weird a moment ago! You didn’t think to tell me then that my bottoms were gone?”

“Huh. I didn’t know I was supposed to be in charge of making sure you could put on clothes without forgetting to wear anything below the waist. I guess I’ll have to remember that for the future. Thanks, Terezi!” Dang. You’re gonna have to apologize to John for doubting his hate-flirt abilities, cause that was a good one.

“….John.” Wow, yeah, you can tell that one got under Terezi’s skin, as she strides over to John and grabs his shoulder, completely unconcerned about her nook once again being plainly visible. She smiles at him, flashing her sharp teeth, and put on a sultry tone of voice as she continued, “Come to think of it, you’ve been getting rather…excited since I caught up with you. Now, you wouldn’t have forgotten to tell me about my missing bottoms just because you were enjoying the view…would you?”

“Wh-what? No, of course not, I…uh, that is…” John stammers through a reply, trying again to hide the erection that was perking back up thanks to Terezi’s most recent move in their caliginous dance. “I was just…I wasn’t enjoying anything, so…I mean, not that there wasn’t anything to enjoy because you’re…um…what I mean is MMMPH.”

You watch John’s adorable stammering get cut short when Terezi grabs his cheek with her other hand and quickly crashes her lips into his. He tries to mouth a protest, but the sensations apparently catch up to him very quickly, and soon enough his arms are wrapping around Terezi in response, kissing her back hard and playfully nipping her bottom lip.

Huh.

That, uh…that happened quickly.

Roxy gives a pleased whistle as she saunters over to the two of them. “Uh oh, Johnny, looks like you managed to flip Terezi’s switch. Don’t think you’re gonna be able to get away from her for a bit, at least not without a few more scars for the road.”  
“Mmm…hah…” John pulls away from the kiss, his breathes getting heavy as he looks over to Roxy. “N-no, it’s alright…let’s just…help her find herrraAHH.”

Once again, his words are cut off, as Terezi moves her lips to his neck and nips at the sensitive skin. She takes her lips away for a few seconds as she growls, “No way…you’re…nah…you’re M1NE, Egbert…not getting away…mmm…that easily…”, and, just like that, she returns to his neck, apparently lost in the moment.

“Agh…no, c’mon Terezi, everyone’s waiting for…fuah…we need to get back, or-EEP.” John tries to calm her down once more, but he’s again stopped…though this time, the culprit is not your moirail going to town on the skin of his neck and shoulder, but the human girl who is currently leaning on his other shoulder, brushing his hair with one hand while the other…uh…

Wow, she went right for it, didn’t she?

Roxy’s free hand is rubbing John’s trunks right over his increasingly hard member, causing him to shudder with every subtle stroke and caress. She leans into John, gives him a quick kiss on the forehead before she says, “Well, you weren’t gonna leave me all alone here while you and Rezi have your fun, were you?”

“No…I mean…urrgh…” John’s ability to form basic sentences seems to be collapsing under the combined assault of his matesprit and kismesis. He shudders again, his eyes darting around as best they can, including sending a brief glance in the direction of your hiding spot, before he looks back to Roxy and mutters, “R-right here…?”

“Hmmm…” Roxy playfully murmurs back to him, and she also quickly takes a gaze in your direction. Your…wow, yeah, you’re still here, aren’t you? I mean, you’re still kinda hidden, but…a few seconds ago, all that you were watching was the successful aftermath of a masterful prank. Now you’re pretty much just watching three of your friends start to have sex. 

You don’t have much time to think about that, as you see Roxy give you a bit of a smirk before she turns back to John and tells him, “Yeah, I’m thinking ‘right here’ sounds pretty damn good,” just before she brings her lips to his. Her hand lifts itself off John’s trunks only to find their way to his waistband and slip under it, as she begins to touch John a little more directly, and…

And…

You…you really shouldn’t just be sitting here watching this, right?


	3. A one-way ticket to Voyeurville

It takes a bit of willpower, but you manage to pull yourself away from the scene unfolding before you and back away from the rocks. That’s…well, guess you’ve now seen firsthand just how good things are going between John and Terezi in the caliginous department. That’s...great! And look, all your little prank really did was add a little spice to this trip for all three of those crazies. Honestly, you kick ass at this moirallegience stuff – even when you’re just messing with the girl, you still help her out!

Oh…right. Thinking of messing with Terezi reminds you that you still have the bottoms of her bikini trapped in your swimsuit. While this has turned out pretty GR8 for her, you think she’d probably still mind the fact that you swiped them from her. Better ditch the evidence.

You pull the bottoms out of your swimsuit and look around briefly, quickly finding the footprints Terezi made in the sand as she was walking out of the changing room. You decide to deposit the bottoms there, figuring she’ll retrace her steps to look for them later. And they’re not too far from where she’s currently getting it on with the humans, so she’ll probably find ‘em pretty quick. Plausible deniability secured! Er…you think. You did show them to John a while ago, so he knows you had them…eh, you can probably talk that goofball into keeping quiet, especially since he came out pretty good in the whole…

“Aaaahhh…”

The soft moan wafting through the air catches your ear and quickly brings a blush to your face. Whoa, that…that was really Terezi? Dang, John must know what he’s doing if her can get those sounds out…of…

Wait, are you really standing here analyzing how well your moirail is getting fucked? What the hell is wrong with you?!

You quickly back up, retracing your steps a bit to take the other route to camp. It’s about the same distance as the path Terezi’s group is currently…er, occupying…but that route was right next to the ocean, whereas this one merely goes along the other side of the rock formation by the beach. Yeah, the rock formation, y’know, the only thing that’s blocking your view to public group sex at the…

Damn. You really can’t get it off your mind.

Your gaze is pulled in that direction again, though the rocks remain the only thing you can see for the moment…though…there is this little path through the rocks that leads up, and would probably look over…you mean, if you climbed up there, you could probably see….

Um…wait, why are you walking that way? Base camp is down the path the other way. This way, THIS current path, is a one-way ticket to Voyeurville. Population: People who up until a few minutes ago did not include you.

But…you can’t stop thinking about it. It’s just sticking in your mind, refusing to make way. And worse, there’s this…throbbing inside your body. You’re feeling…wow, just so…pent up right now. It’s…well, you haven’t been that lucky with relationships for a while now, and outside of this awesome moirallegience with Terezi, you’ve basically had zero luck with romance in a while. But…you didn’t think it was that bad that you’re willing to…

“Nnnnff…fffuuuck…”

And dammit, these moans 8N’T helping right now. Yeah, you’re getting close, because they’re getting easier to hear. You keep your body low, pretty much as you reach the destination, you know, the one you certainly don’t WANT to arrive at. And…then you pull yourself forward just a little bit and see…

Yeah. Just…damn.

Okay, for one, no one’ll care that Terezi misplaced her bottoms anymore, since every other article of clothing has managed to come off in the time since you last saw them. From your vantage point, you can’t really get a good look at Roxy, mainly because she’s kneeling down at the moment with her head in John’s crotch, bobbing up and down with a deliberate pace. John is a little more visible, laying down on a large, flat-ish boulder, but you can’t see his face that well because he, too, is currently buried between a pair of legs…these ones belonging to your moirail, who you can see quite clearly, moaning and playing with her breast as John goes to work on her nook.

And goodness, that boy is…diligent at that work. Though your view is still occasionally blocked, you can make out John expertly teasing her slit with his tongue and his fingers, a coordinated assault that is causing Terezi to squirm like crazy. And then, just when it looks like John is about to lay off her just a bit, he quickly brings his mouth to her slit, attacking her with renewed vigor and causing her to arch her back, a hand going to her mouth in a desperate attempt to stifle a scream.

Whew. You gotta say, Terezi would occasionally mention that John was pretty good in the sack, but from what you’re seeing, she’s been selling the boy WAY short. Not to mention he’s managed to focus on reducing Terezi to a moaning pile of goo while also getting blown himself, and that takes some goddamned commitment.

Speaking of which, it would seem that Lalonde has finished up with said blowjob, as she pulls back from John’s member, giving it one last kiss on the head before standing up and goddamnit she’s fucking hot. Just…fuck. A beautifully slender frame, perfectly sized boobs with gorgeous pink nipples, wonderfully shaped hips with an adorable little tuft of hair just above her nook to top it all off. It’s like someone made a checklist of “Things Vriska Serket finds attractive in girls” and put that into a single person. Even if you cared about the weird human coloration in her skin and hair, or the lack of horns…which you decidedly DON’T care about, by the way…Roxy Lalonde ticks every single box so well for you it’s almost criminal.

You have a feeling John has a similar appraisal of his matesprit, as the sight of Roxy beginning to position herself over his throbbing bulge is enough to get him away from Terezi’s nook for a second. Finally released from his dedicated teasing, Terezi slumps her back down onto the boulder she had been laying on, breathing heavily before she finally protests, “H-Hey…I was…hah…supposed to get…first dibs on…fuuuck…”

“Yeah, I think John’s taken pretty good care of you, Rez. So sorry, but I get the first ride today…” Roxy smirks at Terezi before turning her gaze to John. “That is, unless there are any objections…?”

“N-nope…none here.” John quickly shook his head. “You can go right ahead annnnffffuck!”

Roxy didn’t wait for the end of John’s statement before lowering her hips, drawing John’s bulge into her. She lets out a satisfied sigh once she comes to rest on John’s hips, savoring the moment of connection for a moment before she begins working her hips back and forth. She starts riding him sitting up, but only manages to do so for a bit before she falls forward on him, crashing her mouth into his and kissing him deeply, continuing to buck her hips.

It’s…wow, this is really having an effect on you. You’re starting to breathe heavily as you continue to watch, and only the need to keep yourself hidden is stopping you from completely losing track of where you are right now. And…huh…when did your hand work its way between your legs exactly? And how long has it been stroking your own nook while it was down there? You don’t really remember…but you don’t really care enough to stop it.

Returning your thoughts to the public sex acts, it would appear that John has decided to seize a little bit of the initiative away from his lover, rolling over to put Roxy underneath him while they remain locked in a deep kiss. You can see his back now, and that means you can make out the long scratch mark that goes pretty much all the way from his left shoulder down his back. Terezi certainly didn’t waste any time leaving her marks on him today, did she?

John breaks the kiss, pulling himself up and repositioning himself before he begins thrusting deep into Roxy. The first thrust alone is enough to make Roxy clap her hand on her mouth to muffle the sounds that were being forced out of her chest, and each subsequent thrust brought a stifled moan as John pounded into her.

The boy continued working his hips unabated until he felt another hand on his cheek. He turned back to Terezi, who had finally managed to regain her strength after John’s earlier work and started nipping at his ear. “Hey…you don’t get to ignore me…after just a little bit of foreplay.”

“Augh…Terezi, I…mmmph…” John tried to respond, but apparently decided otherwise and grabbed his kismesis in one arm, pulling her closer to him and bringing his mouth to her breast, immediately attacking the nipple. Terezi hissed as John’s teeth closed around the nub, wrapping her arms around his head with an immensely satisfied smile on her face.

“Hah…h-hey…don’t…fuuuck...don’t overwork the boy, Rezi.” Roxy looked up at the two of them, as Terezi getting back into the game had caused John’s thrusts to slow noticeably. “He can’t really…take care of us both…mmmn…at the same time, y’know?”

“Do you…mmmph…have a better plan…in mind?” Terezi didn’t bother turning her head in Roxy’s direction as she replied, John’s head still held to her bosom.

“Yeah…you come over here.” Roxy laid back again, sticking her tongue out at Terezi. “I’m gonna start…fuuuck…start screaming if I don’t keep my mouth shut…so why not help me shut it?”

Terezi mulled the idea over for about half a second before grinning back to Roxy. “Well…if you’re going to ask so politely, I don’t see how I can refuse.” She slowly releases John from her grip, savoring the last few sensations of his tongue rolling over her nipple, before crawling up on the boulder and positioning her nook over Roxy’s face.

Roxy wasted no time, grabbing the troll girl by the hips and pulling her mouth up, her tongue quickly working over the sensitive slit. The suddenness of the move catches Terezi a bit off guard, as she shudders and lets out a rather loud moan as she feels Roxy make contact with her. The moan quickly turns to a giggle and Terezi manages to say, “Whoo…no time-wasting h-here, huh…mmMM…ah, yeah, you’re alr-right in my book, Lalonnndffuck…” before her façade collapses and her words quickly devolve into desperate moaning.

Meanwhile, it appears to you that watching his matesprit start to determinedly eat out his kismesis has managed to renew John’s vigor, as he grips Roxy’s hips and increases the pace of his thrusts. Roxy squirms under him, a deep sigh being muffled by Terezi’s body as she continues to ravage her nook, bringing her hand in to finger the slit while her mouth nips at her sensitive flesh. And with her strength to keep her body upright fading under Lalonde’s assault, Terezi leans forward, grabbing John’s neck in her arms and embracing him, moaning and cursing into his shoulder, with an occasional kiss or nip thrown in for good measure.

Any appearance that they remembered that an outside world exists appears to have gone out the window…not that you’re complaining, because it means they’re not going to be catching you any time soon. Which is good, because as hard as it would be to explain away why you were watching them have sex, at this point you’d also have to address the fact that you’ve been masturbating to the sight for the last few minutes. 

You’ve stopped pretending to be unaware of what your hand is doing between your legs at the moment, and your breaths are getting heavy as your eyes remain locked on the carnal scene that transpiring in front of you. Your other hand started massaging your breast a little while ago, and your fingers are kneading the nub poking out from under the swimsuit…you can feel you head starting to fog up, and you start drifting away…

“Hmmm…I’d say John’s holding up rather well, for having to cater to the needs of two ladies at once. Wouldn’t you agree, Vriska?”

You snap back into the real world, and your eyes go as wide as saucers. There is no more drifting anywhere for you right now. You were not the one who whispered that.

You slowly turn your head to find another human girl laying besides you, her lavender eyes also fixated on the obscene acts happening on the beach below you. Rose Lalonde is taking in the sight with a bemused look on her face, a light blush being the only sign that she’s being affected in any way by the view. She flicks her gaze to you briefly, her smirk widening a bit as she does so, before she looks back to the sex once more.

You have absolutely no fucking idea how to process this new information. Besides removing your hands from your breast and nook, obviously, because right now suddenly does NOT feel like the right time.

You try to finally work up a response, but find your usually impressive ability to form words has left you at the moment. You kind of stammer for a moment, before finally managing to force out a rattled, “H-how long have…”

“Oh, no more than a minute or so. Kanaya thought she heard something coming from up here, so we decided to follow the path up and see what it was.” Rose doesn’t shift her gaze in the slightest as she responds. “Of course, we realized what the sounds were well before we saw you…ah…drinking in the view, so I thought keeping our voices down would be the only polite thing to do.”

This statement only brought more uncomfortable information to your attention, and you warily mutter, “K-Kanaya…?”

Rose lifts her finger, pointing to the other side of her. You lift your head up a bit, and sure enough, Kanaya Maryam is right there as well, her face bright jade as she switches from trying desperately not to look, to looking for just a brief second, to rubbing her head in the ground as her face becomes even more flush before repeating the process. She takes a break from this cycle just for a moment, giving you a somewhat apologetic look, before returning her face to the sandy ground.

...yeah, this is not improving the situation for you. You look back to Rose, again having to work up the strength to mutter “W-Why are…?”

“I did mention that Kanaya heard a sound, didn’t I?” Rose shoots you a playful look as she answers. “We had decided to take a walk down the beach, just the two of us, when Kanaya told me, and I quote, ‘I Thought I Heard Someone Crying Over There’. Turns out she was right, though not for the reasons she was thinking at first…”

“Mmmmph…” Kanaya rolls her head out of the sand, looking to Rose and grumbling, “I cannot believe you aren’t even a little embarrassed by…all of this.”

“I’m afraid I’ve had to discard any sense of ‘embarrassment’ I might have had a long time ago, at least when it comes to Roxy.” Rose lets out a little bit of a sigh as she glances to Kanaya briefly. “I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve caught her and John ‘in flagrante delicto’, but, well…it isn’t. Though I will admit, seeing her with her face in another woman’s nether regions is a new one, so points for originality.”

A rather loud moan drifts up from the beach below, silencing the three of you as you are quickly reminded, oh right, there’s some fucking going on down there. Good, something else to focus on besides the fact that you were just caught with your fingers in a…compromising position. It would appear that John’s rapid thrusting was too much for Roxy and she lets loose a guttural sound into Terezi’s pelvis, her body convulsing sharply for a moment before she goes limp and slumps down on the boulder, breathing heavily.

John finally slows the relentless pumping of his hips and slides himself out of Roxy, panting as he looks down at his matesprit. “Hah…h-hey, Roxy…you okay…?”

“Mmm-ooo-geeehhh…” Roxy gurgles back to him as she slides her face out from under Terezi, who is similarly breathless at the moment. “Bwuh…juuust getting the feeling back in mah tongue…and my legs…for that matter…otherwise, ’s…all good. Sorry I…uh, finished before…”

“Oh, uh…don’t worry about it. You were amazing, Roxy.” John blushed with a hint of embarrassment, though he remained smiling as he untangled himself from a still-recovering Terezi to lean down and give Roxy a quick kiss. He pulled back, still beaming as he asked, “So, I guess I did pretty good, huh?”

“Heh…cocky.” Roxy giggled back before leaning up and giving him a peck on the cheek. “But yeah…you were pretty damn great too, John. High marks from the judges over here. Tens across the board.”

“Ahem…” Terezi cleared her throat, having managed to regain enough of her senses to speak again. She placed her fingers on John’s cheek, tilting his head up to look at her as she said. “As much as I H4T3 to break up your nerdy love-fest…I believe I’m also owed a turn right about now, no?”

John glanced down at Roxy, who snickered, “Guess the Alternian judge ain’t done with you yet, Johnny.” She leaned up again and kissed him once more, before sliding back onto the stone, waving her hand weakly as she said, “Go ahead…’m tapping out for a bit...you go take care of your hate-friend, too.”


	4. Wait, you don’t mean that…no, f*** it, yes you do.

Terezi didn’t give John a second to consider the decision, pulling his face up as soon as the okay was given and quickly bringer her face back into his, her tongue quickly tangling with his as she tried to push him back down, into the sand. Though he was caught off-guard by the ferocity of her attack, John managed to push back, steadying himself and kissing her back just as hard.

“H3H3…nice of you to start fighting back a little…though, as nice as this is…” Terezi flashed her toothy grin as she separated her lips from John and maneuvered her hips into his, sliding her wet slit against his hard member. “…I think I’ve already said that I’ve had more than enough foreplay, so let’s just get right to…”

“No…not yet.” John swiftly grabbed Terezi’s hips and spun her around before she could stop him, pushing her upper body onto the boulder and making her kneel down in the sand while her ass perked up invitingly. He quickly slipped his fingers between her legs, running them up and down her nook as he continued, “I’ve been going at your pace this whole time…I was thinking it’d be nice to do thing my speed, you know?”

“H-hey, you…d-don’t…rrrrr…” Terezi hissed at him at first, but his skillful fingers quickly made her start moaning again, as her body returned to the on-edge status it had been dealing with ever since they’d started this sudden rendezvous. “No…no faaaair…you were fine with it…hahhh…w-when it was Roxy...weren’t you?”

“Mmm…yeah, guess I was. But then, I thought you preferred it this way?” John leaned down, bringing his mouth to the small of Terezi’s back and giving it a quick kiss before he started trailing his tongue along her spine. He continued to lick his way up, Terezi shivering under him, until her reached her shoulders, at which point he nibbled her earlobes and muttered, “You did just say you like it when I put up more of a fight, after all.”

“Huhu…for someone who claimed he could barely understand the idea of black romance not that long ago, John sure has adapted to it quite well, hasn’t he?” Dammit, Rose is whispering to you again, making it hard for you to ignore that she exists. Would be reeeeeeeeally great if she could take the hint that you cannot deal with this shit right now. Look, Kanaya’s being great with the whole “being quiet and embarrassed because we just caught our friends fucking” thing, why can’t her matesprit learn from her? 

But no, Rose is dead set on reminding you that she’s still there, smirking and commenting in a voice just loud enough for you to hear it and…wait, did she just wink at you? No, your mind’s playing tricks on you. All this sex is messing with your head. Has to be it. Whatever, you’re not thinking about her, or her potential winks, or how you just noticed how her voice gets pleasingly husky when she whispers, OR how you’ve already seen one naked Lalonde body today and it was fucking perfect and you’re kinda wondering if that trait happens to be shared by the one lying next to you.

You’re not thinking about any of that right now.

Fortunately, Terezi’s helping you keep your mind off of all that bullshit by letting out some impressive growls and moans as she tries and fails to fight back against John’s nimble fingers. She managed to grab hold of one of his arms, getting her teeth on it and biting down on the forearm. John clicks his tongue in pain, but instead of letting up, he actually begins attacking Terezi’s nook harder, inserting his fingers and quickly pumping them in and out. Terezi shudders again, accidentally releasing John from her bite as her body responds to him, giving the boy the opportunity to bring the now-free hand to her cheek as he pulls her in for a kiss.

You can tell that Terezi’s not gonna last much longer, as she’s rocking her hips to match John’s fingers and hasn’t once tried to bite his lips or tongue while he’s kissing her. You can also tell that John seems to have caught on to this as well, as he’s smiling mischievously as he pulls away from the kiss. He withdraws his fingers and quickly positions his hips behind hers and placing himself at her entrance, all while Terezi is left panting as she tries to get her breath back.

But he doesn’t push into her yet. Instead, he stays put for a second, the tip of his bulge still lined up with her slit, until Terezi has recovered enough to give an annoyed whine in protest. John leans down again and quietly tells her, “I thought it would be nice to wait until you’re ready. I can start whenever…all you have to do is ask.”

Oh damn, he’s making her beg for it. Sure, he’s acting all dorky and nice as he does it, but man, that is some good black flirting there. You know Terezi’s caught on as well, because she growls back to him, “I don’t need you…to ‘wait’ for me, Egbert…just go ahead and do whatev-!!”

Terezi gets cut off as John swiftly bucks his hips forward…but just a bit. Not enough to push into her, but enough to prod at her entrance with his tip. Of course, that was all that was needed for Terezi, who had been edging for a while now without much release, and that little prod was enough to make her voice devolve back into unintelligible moans and grumbles. John’s smirk widened as he stood up straight and said, “Sorry, Terezi, but like I said…you have to ask.”

She clenched her teeth in frustration, but you could tell that Terezi had finally enough. She smacked her fist on the boulder, pushed her hips back and yelled, “Alright, fine! Will you PL34S3 just hurry up and fuck me alreadeeeee33333-!!”

Before she could finish, John thrust his member inside her in a single quick motion, causing Terezi to let out a squeal as the pleasure washed over her. She arched her back sharply and pushed back until she had taken him as deeply as possible, a satisfied look on her face. John was beaming as well, as he grabbed her ass and slowly started bucking his hips into hers, pulling another deep sigh out of his kismesis as she started to match his rhythm.

John started increasing his pace, digging his nails into Terezi’s hindquarters as he kept up his piston motion. He might have been putting on a tough front as far as Terezi could tell, but the way his face was scrunching up told you that he was probably getting fairly close to finishing as well. Yet, in spite of that, he kept at it, ramming Terezi with enough vigor that her ability to form sentences beyond grunts and “fuck”s was completely shot. It was a fairly impressive sight, even if it was starting to get a touch repetitive for your…

Whoa, hold that thought. Looks like John was thinking the same thing, because he just grabbed Terezi’s shoulder and pulled her to the side a bit.

Lining her head up with Roxy’s nook, which continued to sit out there as she basked in the glow of her orgasm.

Looked like the warm breath on her upper thigh snapped Roxy out of whatever relaxing state she had been, her eyes flying open as she was suddenly QUITE awake. She was still notably wiped out from the earlier sex, though, and she couldn’t really move that well, just barely managing to lift her head up to look at John and mutter, “Uh, hey there Johnny. And…um, Rezi. What, uh…whatcha doing?”

“Oh, I was just thinking…it was pretty nice of you to offer to play with Terezi while I was fucking you, right?” John’s smile was sweet on the surface, but you could tell there was a hint of mischief in his voice. “But Terezi never did anything for you to make up for it, so I thought I’d help give her that chance now. What do you think, Terezi?”

John’s hips slowed own a bit, allowing Terezi a few seconds to gather herself and consider the situation. After a little bit of time, she lifted her arm and wrapped it around Roxy’s hips, flashing her toothy smile to the human girl as she pulled her hips to her mouth.

“W-wait, Rez, I-I’m really okay, you don’t need toOO-!!” Roxy’s attempt at a quick response was stifled immediately as the troll girl’s lips made contact with her wetness, and Terezi’s tongue quickly began sliding over the slit as Roxy threw her head back and gasped. Terezi brought her fingers into play fairly soon as well, bringing her free hand up and swiftly inserting a couple digits. Roxy’s moaning started escalating quickly, but she was able to bring her hand to her mouth to quiet herself before she let loose a full scream. John, apparently pretty pleased with how well that worked, grabbed Terezi’s shoulder with one hand and her hip with the other and laid into her again, absolutely slamming his hips to hers at a fast pace, causing her to shudder with each and every thrust.

Yeah, now THIS is some straight-up honest-to-god fucking going on here.

…So how the fuck is Rose so damn calm?

You really don’t get it. Kanaya hasn’t lifted her head in a while now, as her face turns into a brighter shade of jade with every moan and sigh, and you’re practically DYING for these two to get out of here so you can get back to masturbating like crazy to…wait, you don’t mean that…no, fuck it, yes you do. This is fairly hot shit and you’re pent up and ready and dammit there’s that goddamn THROBBING again. You really can’t fucking stand it much longer.

Yet Rose is STILL here, watching her friend plow an alien girl while that alien eats out her direct genetic forebear like it’s the most natural thing in the world. With that fucking smirk, and that little chuckle as she watches, and, oh yeah, can’t forget the way she keeps glancing over to you, with her smile broadening a little bit each time she does so. Damn Lalondes, getting you all twisted up inside. And now she’s leaning over to Kanaya and whispering something to her, somehow making Kanaya flush even harder as she shoots Rose a bewildered look. Dammit, what’s her deal!? 

“Errgh…dammit, I…Mmmf…” More grunts THANKFULLY bring your attention back to the sex. John’s leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Terezi as he continues to pump his hips, but he’s very clearly leaning the end of his rope. Terezi is moaning into Roxy as the thrusting intensifies, and you don’t think she’ll be that far behind John. Can’t really see her face, though, because Roxy’s clenched Terezi’s head between her thighs as she continues shouting muffled screams into her hand. This won’t be much longer.

And it isn’t, as John lets loose one more “Fuck!” for good measure, pushing himself into Terezi as deeply as he can and squeezing her tightly in his arms. Terezi shudders under him, her mouth finally releasing Roxy’s nethers as she howls in pleasure, and suddenly a high quantity of light blue liquid is forming around…John’s legs, and…

Yeah, you just watched Terezi drop a fucking pail, didn't you? Like, you kinda remembered, somewhere in the back of your mind, that this was what they were working towards all this time, but…fuuuuuuuuck. You were still really unprepared to actually watch that happen. Dammit, you’re probably blushing as hard as Kanaya right now. Not Rose, of course, who is still appears to be regarding the whole sloppy spectacle as mildly amusing, at best.

“Guh…phew…” John’s still struggling to find words, but he’s managed to release Terezi from his bear hug as he rolls over, laying on his back next to her. “Wow, that was…whew. I…um, I’m guessing you enjoyed it to, Terezi, considering the, uh…”

“Puh…pipe down…Egbert.” Terezi tries to lift her arm enough to punch John in the arm, but can only muster the energy for a little tap. “Yeah, yeah…you were pretty good, don’t…don’t let it go to your head.”

“Fine, fine…” John waved his arm as he slumped off the boulder, sitting up in the sand next to Terezi’s hips. He glanced over at her butt, possibly considering messing with her even more, but his eyes then trailed down, as he looked at the small puddle of slightly viscous teal liquid pooling between Terezi’s legs. Specifically, he was looking at the traces of this…weird…white liquid, mixed in with Terezi’s pail, blushing beet-red as he turned away from the sight. You’re kinda wondering what that’s all about. Though he still looks embarrassed, John’s smile broadens a little bit as he mumbles, “Sorry that I…uh, came inside…”

“You’re always so weird about that…I don’t get it. It felt great.” Terezi rolled onto her back as well, continuing to breathe heavily. “Actually, I’ve never seen you never do it for Roxy…ugh, is it some weird human reproductive thing, or…?”

“Ugh, Reziiii…really not the time, hon.” Roxy finally rejoined the conversation, just barely managing to sit upright on the boulder as she steadied herself with her hands. “I promise…I’ll fill you in on the hi…guh…hilarious bullshit involved in the ‘human reproductive thing’…just, some other time…kay?”

“Whatever…not like I really care anyway…” Terezi grumbles back, apparently too tired to press the matter any further.

“Gotcha. Now then…” Roxy scooched herself down the boulder to push against John’s head with her foot. “Where’d that little ‘make-up oral’ idea come from, John? Not that I don’t mind a little fun from Rezi…and, btw, damn, you’re good at it girl, no disrespect intended…but a little bit of warning woulda been nice, y’know?”

“Hey…said I wanted to go at my own pace…and all that.” John didn’t turn his head to respond…which was great, because from that angle he’d probably be looking right at you. You really should consider slipping back a little, try and avoid detection.

“Heh…alright. Well, it did feel pretty fuckin’ great, so I’ll let it slide this time.” Roxy started sliding off the boulder, a bit wobbly, but managing to get to her feet. Dammit, there’s that perfect fucking body again, but now it’s all glistening with sweat and sex and…just, goddamn. She starts looking around, including glancing at the pool of teal liquid at Terezi and John’s feet as she grumbles, “Ugh…we should really clean that up. Rez, you mind help…”

“No fucking way.” Terezi shoots back instantly, blushing pretty hard at the idea. “Not dealing with that.”

John lightly nudges Terezi in the shoulder as he protests, “C’mon, you’re the one who lets out actual puddles of goo when you come. You need to help clean it up.” God, that was about the filthiest fucking thing you’ve ever heard him say. Not to mention it’s really making it hard for you to forget that said…‘goo’…errgh…is still sitting in plain sight on the beach.

“Augh…fine, I’ll…think of something…just…” Terezi growled in embarrassment, searching for a way to change the subject. “…’d kinda like to wash off, is all. My knees are all sandy and…uh, yeah. Y’know.”

“Yeah…we should probably clean up before we head back…just need to deal with this first. At least before Karkat sees it, and all hell breaks loose.” Roxy started scanning the beach. “Not to mention, we need to get dressed again, and find those bottoms of…yours…”

Roxy trails off for a second as she…

Oh fuck, she’s looking up. At the cliff. Where you are.

Aaaaaaaand…you were leaning out again, gawking at her naked body.

She’s just realized you’ve been peeping on her for a while, hasn’t she.

…FUUUUUUUUCK.


	5. Whaaaaaaaat.

You’re sure your face must be as perfectly cerulean as possible, because you’ve never been more embarrassed in your entire life. You can see that Roxy’s blushing as well, but she’s not looking directly at you…oh right, Rose is still next to you, having made absolutely no effort to hide herself. The two Lalondes stare at each other for an instant that feels, to you, like it lasts for a few excruciating hours. Finally, Rose smiles at Roxy and gives her a thumbs up. Roxy blushes a little, but responds with a big smile of her own, along with one of her ridiculously cute WONKs as she quickly goes back to picking up the swimsuits scattered around the rocks.

You remember to breathe as soon as Roxy turns her gaze away, backing up from the cliff as quickly as possible, sitting up by one of the large rocks nearby as you breath heavily. Rose also backs away from the cliff, tapping Kanaya on her back and quietly muttering, “It seems the show is over for today. We should probably get going.”

“Oh…uh, yes. Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea.” Kanaya seems to have remembered she can do something besides rub her head in the sand and hope she disappears, as she quickly pulls back from the cliff as well, standing up and turning to head for the path. “Well then, now seems like an excellent time to get back to camp so why don’t we just…”

“Kanaya…wait.” Rose freezes her matesprit, grabbing her hand before she can take off down the path. She stands up as well, leaning into Kanaya and whispering to her again. Dammit, there she goes, being all secretive, and…no, your head’s kind of a mess right now. Full of frustration and wonder and embarrassment and desire. That was one of the more intense experiences of your life, and there’s some not-that-small part of you that’s a little annoyed that said experience happened to be as a spectator. Not only that, but you weren’t the only spectator, and the others…or, well, at least one of them…seems to have coped with it much better than you. 

Dammit, Vriska, what happened to you? You’re supposed to be hot shit, 8n’t ya? So why the hell are you collapsing like a sorry fucking loser over something like this? Was it because you were watching Terezi? Sure, it’s pretty weird that you were watching your moirail get pailed pretty fucking hard, but you and her have already had your share of incredibly embarrassing experiences. What’s one more for the pile? And it’s not John or Roxy that have got you on edge, either, even though you now have to admit that you’d really like to sleep with them, because damn, they’re pretty damn good at it from what you’ve seen.

Which brings it back to Rose. She caught you in the act, and now you can’t just wave it off and pretend this never happened like you were planning. You really don’t know what to do, aside from shoot her a harsh glare, and…uh…

Come to think of it, now that you’ve settled yourself down a bit, this is the first time you’ve seen Rose in her swimsuit, isn’t it? Oh, uh, and Kanaya too. Man, Maryam’s looking pretty fine over there, too. A stylish, as always, two-piece swimsuit with a cute black-and-jade pattern…admittedly, doesn’t show as much skin as what Roxy and Terezi had chosen, but it fits her tall, slightly skinny frame quite effectively…and…uh…

You’re trying to keep your mind off Rose, but it isn’t working. She’s got an orange bikini on, with the Light-aspect symbol on her left cup, and the wrapped around her bottoms is a thin, elegant sarong. And it…well, it really looks good on her. But more to the point, it’s giving you juuuuuuuust enough of a glimpse of the body underneath to pique your interest. That, and your mind is filling in the covered parts of her body with the image of Roxy’s perfect little chassis, and you find that completed image to be…something. Yep, something’s a good word, isn’t it? Whoo, you…you really need to get out of here, because you think you’ve embarrassed yourself enough for one…

Your mind drifts again, and you can hear their voices now. Right they were whispering in front of you. You were too busy swirling around in a pit of emotions to deal with it a moment ago, but you’re able to make some words out now…

“…really don’t think it’s a good idea…”

“We’ll never get an opportunity like this again, dear. You really don’t want to try…?”

“That’s…but what if it…”

“…trust me…I think we’ll enjoy ourselves…”

Huh, well, that sure clarified things for you. Anyway, yeah, you were getting out of here, right? That was the plan, you think, and you really ought to…

“Vriska?”

Oh dammit, now Lalonde is calling for you. See, this is why you should have left when you could have. You flick your eyes up at her, trying to put some menace into your gaze as you grumble, “Yeah, what is it? Gonna tell me what I need to do so you’ll keep quiet? Or am I gonna have to have an awkward chat with Terezi?”

“Oh no, don’t worry about that…I’m in the same boat as you, after all.” Gah, there’s that evil little smirk again. Dammit, that smirk’s gonna fucking kill you before this day is done. “I’m sure we can agree to keep what just happened a secret from John and Terezi…for both our sakes, no?”

“Huh…yeah, sure. Whatever. Saves me from having to deal with that shit now, so thanks, I guess.” You try to brush her off so you can get out of here. “Now, if that’s all, I really need to…”

“It isn’t all, actually. There was something else I wanted to discuss with you.” Rose walks up to you, blocking your path. Uh oh…is there scheming going on here? You glance at Kanaya, trying to glean some information from her, but she’s doing everything she can to look away from you, still blushing like crazy. Your eyes go back to Rose, who smiles to you as she continues, “When Kanaya and I were on our walk, we noticed a more…secluded area of the beach…a bit more out of the way, with a few more rocks providing shade and cover than elsewhere on the beach. We think it’ll offer quite a bit more privacy than anywhere else in the area, and we were thinking of going there before returning to camp.”

“O…kay? Good to know, I guess?” You’re not sure what to make of this, or what to make of…uh…Rose leaning in, now, getting kinda close there. All in your personal space, really. “What’s your…”

Rose leans right up to your ear, her voice quiet enough that only you can hear her. “Kanaya and I are going to have sex once we get there, Vriska.”

Oh. Uh…great, you guess? Those kooks can go enjoy…

“Would you like to join us?”

………

Whaaaaaaaat.

Your mind is kinda shutting down, to be completely honest.

She did just proposition you to have sex with her and her matesprit, didn’t she?

She leans away from your ear, and you can look into her eyes again. There’s some mischief there, a sense of amusement, sure. But…she doesn’t look like she's lying to you.

This is real. This is a thing that’s happening.

Isn’t it?

You try to respond, but again, it seems that part of your brain is malfunctioning at the moment. You stammer for a moment before getting out, “Wh-what…why would you…”

“Besides the fact that we both think you’re attractive?” Rose began answering your half-formed question before you could get the rest out. “We’ve all been quite…affected by what we just watched, I think. I’m not ashamed to say that it’s gotten me fairly aroused, and Kanaya’s feeling much the same way. I’m pretty sure you’re in the same situation as we are…aren’t you?”

You’re still working on that whole “words” and “sentences” thing at the moment, but you’re feeling like you’re getting better at it. At the very least, you actually manage a real reply this time, as you say, “Y-yeah, sure, maybe, but that doesn’t…why do you think I’d be interested in…that?”

“Huhu…” Rose chuckles, and you’re serious, that smirk is really messing with you right now. “I thought you would appreciate the offer, is all. After all, Kanaya and I can take care of each other in times like these, but…that would have left you alone. It simply didn’t feel right to leave you to…satisfy yourself, without any form of companionship.”

…Companionship?

Is…is this bitch offering you sex because she thinks you’re lonely?

Your gaze narrows, and you can feel anger starting to bubble up in your gut. “So basically, you’re saying you feeling sorry that I don’t have a partner, huh? ‘Oh, Vriska, it must suck being so alone all the time, but don’t worry, I’ll pity-bang you this once!’ That what you’re getting at?”

“Oh, no…I assure you, this isn’t pity at all, Vriska.” Rose’s still smiling, and you can tell that she isn’t rattled by your display of indignation…or, if she is, she's good at hiding it. “I mean everything I’m saying right now…I think you’ve got some tension built up from that display, and I’m offering you an avenue to release it. You’re under no obligation to accept, of course.”

“Oh, no, of course not…I can just go back to masturbating aaaaaaaall aloooooooone, can’t I? But that’s so sad, isn’t it, such a pretty girl with no one to go to…honestly, you’re doing her such a huge favor by offering to pail her!” Why is this getting you so worked up? There’s just some combination of the sex you just watched and how pent up you are and how hot you’re finding Rose at the moment, but the whole thing is really getting under your skin…

It’s quiet for just a second as you’re pondering all of this, when suddenly, you hear a voice shout out “Hey Reeezi! Found your damn bottoms, girl! Still dunno how you missed it when they came off, but we got ‘em back! And…hey, don’t just try and dump that crap in the ocean!! C’mon, we’re gonna be swimming in that!”

Roxy’s shouts linger in the air for a bit before both you and Rose start laughing in spite of yourselves, the tension from a moment ago starting to melt away as you try and keep your voices quiet enough that you won’t be heard by the others down on the beach. Even Kanaya cracks a smile and is trying to hold back a laugh, even though thinking about what Terezi was trying to dump in the ocean is causing her blush to return.

“Haha…I guess I shouldn’t have counted on the show being over so soon.” Rose manages to collect herself before you do. “And just like that, all that tension I’ve been building up is gone now. Next time, I’ll need to make sure we’re well clear of Roxy’s vocal range before I attempt caliginous flirting again.”

“Hehe…so that’s what you were doing, huh? Points for effort, but your execution needs some work. I was just getting pissed at you, and not in a good way.” Thanks to Roxy’s little outburst, your head isn’t as cloudy as it was a second ago, allowing you to think about the situation with a bit more clarity. And yeah, looking back, you’re kinda annoyed with yourself that you didn’t recognize Rose’s black flirting for what it was, going back to all that teasing and winking while you were watching the threesome take place.   
“What brought all that on, exactly?”

“Hmmm…I guess watching John take so well to black romance with Terezi had caused me to think the idea over for a while.” Rose sighed a bit as she folded her arms. “I’ve talked about it with Kanaya quite a bit…though I wasn’t sure how to approach the idea with any potential partners. Including you, of course. Then this all happened, and…I thought it was about as good a time as ever to try.”

“Well, just for reference, inviting people to threesomes with your matesprit is a pretty fucking unusual way to get a kismesis.” You run your hands through your hair, finally feeling back in control of yourself for the first time since Terezi started making out with John.

Rose nodded, with a slight note of regret in her voice as she responded. “You’re right…I suppose I’ll need to work on my approach some more next time I…”

You cut Rose off by closing the distance between the two of you, wrapping one arm around her and tilting her chin up a bit to look you in the eyes. “Whoa, now…next time? Giving up so soon, are we? Sure, it might be unorthodox, but that isn’t to say it’s a bad idea…in the right situation, that is…”

Rose’s eyes widened a bit, but she quickly caught herself, realizing what you were doing. “You don’t say…well, I suppose I’m just making one careless mistake after another. Perhaps an expert in the field of black romance would be so kind as to offer some more advice for a novice like myself…do you happen to know anyone like that, Vriska?”

“Oh, I’m sure I could think of someone…but then, didn’t you have plans? I wouldn’t want to get in between you and your lovely matesprit…” You glance over to Kanaya, who’s now watching the two of you quite intently, before you look back to Rose, bringing your mouth right next to her ear so only she can hear you whisper, “Unless you were to tell me that’s what you were hoping for, that is…”

You can feel her shiver in your arms slightly as your breath tickles her ear. You pull back a bit, and you can see that Rose is biting her lip, and you recognize the anticipation in her eyes. But instead of responding directly to you, she simply steadies herself and backs up, turning back to Kanaya. “Well, Vriska, entertaining as this has been, I should get going…I’ve kept my lover waiting for quite long enough. I suppose we’ll have to talk later…unless YOU were to reconsider our invitation, that is.”

She shoots you a teasing glance over her shoulder, making sure to stress juuuuuuuust the right words in her condition. That’s much more like it…a nice little bit of back and forth, pushing and pulling the tension between you two. Heh…looks like she’ll be a quick learner.

She gets to Kanaya, leaning up to give her matesprit a soft kiss on the lips, which is very quickly returned. The moment they break the kiss, Rose wraps her arm around Kanaya’s waist, leading her from the area. She doesn’t give you a second look back, but you can tell that she’s exaggerating the swaying of her hips just for you as she takes her leave.

And you’re not gonna bother lying that it’s pretty effective on you right now. That throbbing is back, and you’ve just been given the okay…and the motivation…to finally satiate it. Your mind is clear, and there’s a smile on your face as you start following just behind Rose and Kanaya.


	6. Just the right kind of dangerous

It’s a fairly short walk from the cliff you were at to get to Rose’s “secluded area”. It’s another rocky area, albeit a little further from the base camp Strider had set up, and you notice the rocks surrounding the area are larger and harder to climb or look around than where Terezi’s group had been. So privacy probably won’t be an issue while you’re here.

You look back to Rose, thinking over the best ways you can tease her and get this black fling going, but it appears Kanaya beat you to the punch, wrapping her arms around Rose and bringing her into a deep kiss before you can say anything. Rose’s eyes flutter shut as she reciprocates the gesture, sliding her arms up Kanaya’s back and kissing her back with equal passion. 

It’s cute how quickly they get entranced by each other, but it doesn’t leave you a lot of openings to join in right away. Though, to be honest, you’re not terribly broken up by it at the moment. You think over your options for a second before deciding to find a comfortable rock to sit down on. Fortunately, there’s one fairly close, and you take a seat to watch those two make out, feeling the smile curl on your face as they indulge in each other.

Rose notices fairly quickly that you haven’t joined in, and she flicks you a questioning glance. You don’t answer right away…keep her wondering for the moment. She continues to kiss Kanaya, but it’s only a moment later that Lalonde finally brakes the kiss, looking over to you and saying, “I hope I’m not making you feel unwelcome, Vriska…you know you can join in at any time.”

“Hmmm…no, I think I’m good for now.” You ignore the throbbing that’s still working around inside you, throwing on you most convincing smile as you reply. “Kanaya’s been waiting patiently, after all. You take care of your matesprit…I’ll let you know when I’m ready to join in.”

Rose doesn’t respond right away, only nodding slightly as she turns back to Kanaya. Good. You’ve got her off balance right off the bat. You don’t always need big moves or over-the-top teasing to pull off good caliginous flirting…sometimes a subtler move will suffice. She’s still kissing Kanaya…with quite a bit of intensity, you might add…but you’re lingering in the back of her mind, making her wonder what it is you’re playing at. You might have been out of the black romance game for a while, but you still know what you’re doing.

Of course, you’ve also got another person to consider in all this. You know from that little shiver you got out of Rose a moment ago that she’s very much into the idea of you as a kismesis, but Kanaya…even if you leave aside the romantic troubles the two of you had in the past…and seriously, leave those memories alone, they’re goddamn embarrassing…and just consider the recent evidence, you’ve got no reason to believe she’s feeling the same way. Or really anything close to it.

Though Terezi’s situation with John and Roxy has worked out extremely well, dealing with a romantic partner’s other quadrants can always be tricky. And even though everyone doesn’t necessarily need to get along like those weirdos to make it all work out, you still need to ensure some sense of stability. Making it seem like you’re pushing out your black lover’s matesprit or trying to monopolize her time, even unintentionally, can be taxing on all relationships involved. Not to mention that this IS Fussyfangs you’re dealing with…go at this the wrong way and her Auspistice senses could start flaring up, and THAT scenario almost certainly won’t end well.

So you’re gonna let Maryam have as much fun as she needs to. Make sure she’d not feeling threatened, that you becoming a larger part in Rose’s life won’t upset the happiness she’s found in her situation. You’ll get your turn…and, if you do it right, you can have your fun and keep Kanaya satisfied as well.

In fact, you think you’ve got an idea that’ll do just that.

Rose and Kanaya have kept on making out as you’ve been considering things, but it’s starting to get a bit hotter now, as Rose’s hands find their way to Kanaya’s top, lifting it up and freeing her chest from its confinement. Kanaya’s spheres aren’t very large, fitting with her rather slender build, but they are nicely shaped, and her perky jade nipples make them quite appealing on the whole. Rose wastes no time in cupping one of her matesprit’s breasts, massaging it gently while Kanaya coos softly. You see that Kanaya has a similar idea in mind, as her hands start to drift towards the string holding Rose’s top in place…

Which means it’s time to move. 

You stand up and walk over to Rose, placing your hands on her waist, sloooooooowly caressing her…wow, her skin is just so smooth…dammit, Serket, focus. Fortunately, you control yourself fast, because you’ve gotten a quick reaction from Rose, who shudders as soon as you make contact. She breaks her kiss with Kanaya and looks back at you, her mouth hanging open a little as her breathing has gotten heavy. You give her a smirk and quietly say, “Think you’ve gotten warmed up enough…ready for me to tag in?”

Rose takes a moment to collect herself before she returns your smirk and answers, “I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of your timing, exactly, but I’m ready if you are.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be coming around on my timing in just a minute…and don’t worry, Fussyfangs, I’m not forgetting about you, either.” You shift your attention to Kanaya, who was giving you a rather dissatisfied look once she realized you had started getting involved in the situation. You lean past Rose to whisper into her ear, “In fact, I’ve got a lovely idea…why don’t you…”

Kanaya listens intently as you explain the plan, making sure your voice never raises enough for Rose to hear you. Once you finish, you pull back so Kanaya can see your face again and give her a wink. The look on her face has quickly shifted from dissatisfied to intrigued, and she gives you a very short nod in response. Excellent.

Her cooperation secured, you look back to Rose, who’s giving you an unsure look as her body is coming down from its previous state of makeout-induced arousal. She starts muttering, “If you’re done with your scheming, maybe you’d like t-”, but before she can finish, you bring your fingers to her chin and silence her with a kiss. You can feel her respond right away, kissing you back and entwining her tongue with yours, and you can feel one of her arms snaking its way around your hips as she pulls your body in closer. Your eyes close as you take a moment to enjoy the feel of her mouth and her skin against yours…it’s been a while for you, and you think you deserve to indulge yourself in the sensation, at least a little bit.

Besides, you know you only have a little bit of time for this indulgence before Kanaya starts with her side of the plan. You feel Rose shudder against you, and she pulls back from your mouth and mumbles, “K-Kanaya…w-wai-ahh…” You open your eyes again to see that Kanaya’s hands have continued to roam Rose’s body, sneaking under her bikini and more or less groping Lalonde both above and below, while the human girl squirms under her matesprit’s skillful fingers. 

The sarong that had been wrapped around Rose’s waists has already fallen to the ground, showing off her lower body, while Kanaya lifts Rose’s top up and frees her breasts as well. This lets you get a better look at Rose’s body, and…well, you certainly aren’t disappointed. Looks like ticking all your boxes is indeed a shared Lalonde trait. Rose’s breasts might be just a bit smaller than Roxy’s, but you can’t help but be drawn in by the perfect curves of her hips and the lovely tone of her legs. 

You can’t resist the urge to explore her body as well, and your hand slides down Rose’s waist and caresses her hips. Of course, considering Kanaya’s pretty much fingering her at the moment, your subtler moves probably aren’t registering. You’re gonna need to grab her attention some other way…and, since your hand’s already in the area, you figure that grabbing her ass and giving it a squeeze should do the trick. 

Also, you really want to grab her ass because come on, it is obscenely perfect, so this course of action seems like a win-win for you.

Rose gives another gasp as your fingers sink into her rear, and she looks up at you with a somewhat faraway look in her eyes. You smirk at her and mutter, “My, it certainly looks like Kanaya hasn’t had enough of you yet. I suppose I can understand her feelings, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to start ignoring me right as we’re getting started, Rose.”

Rose takes a moment to respond, Kanaya’s fingering still sapping most of her higher mental functions, until a smile starts to curl on her face. Her arm, which she has kept wrapped around your waist, slides up to your neck and pulls you in tight to her as she airily whispers to you, “Turning my…my own girlfriend against me…so quickly…maybe she was r-right…you’re quite dangerous…”

“Oh, she’s always said things like that…I’m sure you’ll see that there’s nothing to worry about soon enough. Instead…” You stop for a moment, leaning in and kissing Rose again, rolling your tongue against hers. You make it brief, just enough to get her into it, before you pull back again. Rose’s mouth hangs open just a bit as you separate, and before she gets the chance to close it, you swiftly bring your thumb up to her lips, slowly sliding the digit into her mouth. 

You feel the wetness of Rose’s mouth and tongue on your thumb quickly, along with the warm air of her sighs as she’s still reacting to Kanaya. Without you bidding her to do anything specifically, Rose begins to suck on your thumb just a bit, her tongue lapping at it and swirling around the fingernail and tip. You let her continue to lose herself in this for just a moment longer before slowly withdrawing your thumb. After taking the briefest of seconds to admire the thin strand of her saliva that hangs in the air from your thumb to her mouth, you lean back in and quietly finish your earlier thought, telling her, “By the time we’re done, you’ll know I’m just the right kind of dangerous for this.”


	7. Make her 8EG for more

You’re really drinking in this moment. Rose’s body twitches in your arms, and you can still feel the pleasant wetness of her saliva on your finger and her hot breath on your ear. You’ve managed to get her pretty hot and bothered, admittedly with Kanaya’s expert assistance, and you’re feeling good about how well your first romantic fling in a while has been going. You pull your head back, thinking over your next line as you go for another kiss…

Suddenly, you feel resistance against your head, and you realize that the hand Rose had wrapped around your neck is now grabbing the back of your head through your impressive mane of hair. Your eyes quickly flick to Rose’s face, and you can see a spark in her eyes as her lips curl into a smirk to match the one you had just a moment ago.

Uh oh.

“You’ve…been talking…too much…”, Rose mumbles in your ear. Before you can do anything, she pulls your head to her exposed chest, your lips brushing up against her nipple. Your vision is blocked, but you can still feel the warmth of Rose’s breaths on your face as she continues, “Why don’t you p-put your mouth…to better use?”

There’s a swirl of emotions inside you. First comes frustration at yourself. Dammit, you really can’t believe you let yourself get complacent. You’re dealing with a potential kismesis, of course she’d be looking to take control of the situation away from you. But you were enjoying yourself, not paying attention, and you let Rose grab the upper hand.

Of course, the frustration quickly gets overpowered by how incredibly aroused you are right now. You can feel your body trembling from the lovely huskiness in Rose’s voice, and the way she’s taken the advantage away from you so quickly has left you breathless. THIS is what you want from a kismesis, someone who just refuses allow you to roll over them. There’s no fun in a black relationship when you can dominate your partner. You need something more challenging, or more combative or…more…

Yeah, these thoughts can wait for later, because there is a lovely pink nipple poking you in the cheek at the moment. And you were just kindly asked to deal with that, weren’t you?

You stick your tongue out and make contact with Rose’s skin, enjoying the shiver you feel go through her as you marvel at how smooth her skin is, even to your tongue. You then slide your mouth across her breasts, leaving a trail of saliva behind, before bringing her nipple into your mouth and giving it a quick suck. Rose coos as you start to lap at her hardened nub with your tongue, and you slide the hand that had been on near her face down and cup her other breast, kneading that nipple with your fingers.

“Mmm…see, th-that’s better, isn’t it?” Rose mutters to you and wow you never want her to stop using this sexy voice of hers. “This is m-much more, ahhh…m-more enjoyable for buh-both of usssss…” You glance up, and Rose’s face is beaming, even as she’s clearly struggling to resist collapsing under the combined work of your tongue and Kanaya’s fingers. It’s clearly written on her face that she wants just this as badly as you do. And you’re more than happy to oblige, tightening the grip of your arm around her waist and pulling her in closer to you.

Keeping your eyes locked with hers, you poke at her nipple once more with your tongue, before closing your teeth on it and giving her nub a soft, playful bite. Rose responds immediately, as the hand gripping your head tightens notable, with the other flying to her mouth just in time to stifle the intense moan that escapes her at that second. Sensing her lover may need some help keeping her voice down, Kanaya brings her hand to Rose’s cheek, turning her face and bringing her in for a deep kiss. 

Your thoughts return to Rose’s breasts, as you continue to suck and nip at her bud, alternating to her other breast after a little while. Your eyes flutter shut, and your mind starts drifting as you lose yourself in the moment. This…hoo boy…you haven’t felt this way in a while. In any circumstance, really, but in a caliginous way? This…actually might be the first time you’ve gotten this into it. Granted, your previous dalliances in black romance were…disappointing, in a number of ways, but even if they hadn’t been, you can’t imagine they would have ever equaled this moment. Your first glimpse of Rose in this quadrant has been nothing short of excellent so far.

“Nn…guha…mmMMMGH-!” Rose lets out a few stifled moans into Kanaya’s mouth, and her grip on your head tightens as hard as it can, grabbing your attention. She breaks away from the kiss and clamps her hand to her mouth, and not a second too soon as she just manages to catch the scream that forces its way out of her, her whole body convulsing in your arms. It lasts for a second, before the tension finally leaves her and she slumps to her knees, leaning against your shoulder as she tries to catch her breath.

You kneel on one knee to put her in a more comfortable position. After you give her a moment to rest, not to mention steady yourself as well, you bring your mouth to her ear and mutter, “So…I happen to think I’m pretty good at this whole thing. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Mmmffhehe…” Rose laughs into your shoulder, lifting herself off of you and leaning back, this time finding Kanaya, who had knelt down as well beside her. “Humble as always…but yes…I’ve got nothing to complain about so far.”

“Hmmmmmmmm…is that so?” You smirk at Rose, looking up and down her body. The first thing you notice is that her bottoms remain on, which you’d have thought would mean that they be ruined right now, but aside from a bit of dampness, they seem pretty fine. “Oh…looks like humans are a lot cleaner at this than we are, huh Maryam?”

“Oh…yes, it does make post-coital cleanup much quicker.” Kanaya seems a little surprised to hear you ask her a question, but other than that has a rather content look on her face as she embraces her matesprit. These two were always pretty cute together, but the after-sex glow suits them way to much, and it is basically super adorable, the way they’re hugging and giggling to each other.

Shame you’re gonna have to ruin it, but you’re not done yet.

Rose’s eyes flicker open again as she realizes your hands are on her body, caressing her legs as they make their way to her bottoms. Still stumbling over her words after the orgasm, she manages to mutter, “V-Vriska? What are…”

“What, you didn’t think we were done already, did you?” You shoot her a smirk as you slide her bottoms off, revealing her wet slit and beautiful patch of pubic hair. You lay down in front of her, getting close to her nook while keeping your eyes locked, and you softly mutter to her, “We’re just getting started here…Kanaya got you to come…and now it’s my turn.” And before she can work up the energy to stop you, you bring your mouth to her crotch and start licking her passionately, and it’s all Rose can do to stop herself from screaming once more as she throws her head back.

You run your tongue up and down Rose’s slit as swiftly as you can, making sure to prod at just the right spots to cause her to shudder in response. And you’re doing a damn good job of it, if you do say so yourself…in fact, right now the hardest part is less keeping up your pace than it is keeping Rose from squirming away from you. You grab her hips with both hands…goddammit, even in THIS position you can still tell how amazing those hips are dammit FOCUS Serket…and pull her in close to you, closing off her escape.

You flick your eyes up at Rose, making sure she’s got her eyes locked on you as you continue to lick away. Sure enough, she’s looking at right at you, and your gazes meet for a moment…really the briefest of seconds. But in that instant you gaze for the first time on a version of Rose you’ve never seen before, not in the any of the years you’ve known her since you all met on that meteor. 

Her eyes are watery, but there’s still a resolute look to her face, as though she’s refusing to show herself cracking while you can see her. And in those watery eyes you can see the incredible mix of emotions wracking her mind right now, the desire and the passion and the competitiveness, emotions you might have seen flashes of from her in the past, but never so intense, and never directed at you. She WANTS you right now. 

There’s a little voice in the back of your mind telling you that this is the perfect moment to push your caliginous advantage, to hold back now, while she’s wound up, and make her ask…no, make her 8EG for more. But you’re not really listening to that voice right now. It’s been…it’s been too long since you felt this way, or since you’ve made someone else feel this way about you. That little voice can go screw off about how you’re not being the best kismesis you can be, today you’re going with what feels right at this exact moment. 

Besides, there’ll be plenty of time to redeem your black romantic game. You’re not letting her get away, and from the squirming you can tell she’s got every reason to come back to you for more.

So you push all other thoughts out of your mind, pull her hips in as close to your body as you can and start simply RAVISHING her nook, tonguing her with as much strength and desperation as you can muster. You see her struggle to maintain the composure on her face, but her body is being quite honest as she thrashes in your arms. She turns her head into Kanaya, at first simply rubbing her head to her chest to avoid yelling out, but soon she starts sucking and nipping at Maryam’s exposed breasts to distract herself from the overwhelming pleasure you're lavishing on her. Kanaya’s arms wrap around Rose’s head and pull her in tight, moaning lightly as she begins to squirm from the pleasure…

That’s all you see, really, because at this point your eyes go back to Rose’s slit before eventually fluttering shut. You let the sensations guide you for a moment, and put all of yourself into your tongue-work. Your ears pick up the moans coming from Rose and Kanaya, and your tongue, exhausted as it is from the work you’re piling on it, delivers the taste of Rose’s skin and her sensitive flesh.

In your reverie, you don’t really know how much time passes…a few seconds, a couple minutes, maybe…before the inevitable occurs. Rose’s thighs suddenly clamp down on your head, and an intense moan escapes from her body, only barely muffled by Kanaya’s chest. She quivers again in your grip, every fiber of her tensing at once, before finally the strength goes out of her, and her body simply goes limp.

You lift your head out of her nethers, your mouth still hanging open a bit as you look over your handiwork. Rose is laying on her side in Kanaya’s lap, with the rising and lowering of her chest as she breathes being the only sign of movement from her. Maryam is still sitting up, but she’s also huffing and puffing a bit…maybe she’s really sensitive there, you should make a note of that for later. Anyway, she’s sitting there with a bit of a glow to her…not the rainbow-drinker kind but the post-sexytimes kind…as she looks down at Rose and strokes her hair with a smile on her face.

You stare her absent-mindedly for a second, before your body manages to process the damp sensation on your mouth and cheeks. You wipe Rose’s wetness off your mouth, slowly coming back to the world, and crawl over to Rose, caressing her shoulder. She manages to roll over, shifting from Kanaya’s lap to lay face up on the ground, and looks up at you with lidded eyes as she tries to mutter, “Hah…V-vriska…that was…”.

That’s as far as she gets, because you silence her with a soft kiss on the mouth…just lips, no tongue, a sweet, simple kiss. You pull back after just a moment, enjoying the sight of the satisfied look on her face, and you mutter, “So, it’s safe to say you enjoyed yourself, eh Lalonde?”

…well, you try muttering something like that, anyway. Your mouth and tongue, however, are being a bit numb and uncooperative, so what comes out is fairly garbled. Unfortunately, this means it doesn’t get the desired effect out of Rose, causing her to laugh quite a bit instead, infecting Kanaya a moment later, and…okay, you’ll admit you laughed at yourself too, it was fairly funny.

Once the giggles subside, Rose settles down enough to lift her torso up off the ground and sit upright. She looks you over, her eyes settling on your chest…no, on the swimsuit still covering your spheres. A bemused look crosses her face, and she says, “All that, and yet I still haven’t even got your swimsuit off…you’re quite dedicated in the moment, Vriska. I’m honestly quite impressed.”

“Yeah, yeah…don’t forget it, either. About time people noticed how GR8 I am and all.” You bring your hand to your mouth, massaging your jaw as you start to regain your normal vocal functions. She’s right, you were so locked on to what Rose was feeling you never really thought about pleasing yourself. You look down to your swimsuit, still snuggly wrapped around your body, and shrug. Ah well, there’ll always be next time…and you’re sure Rose’ll definitely be interested in a next time, after the work you just…

Suddenly, your ears twitch, as they pick up a faint giggle coming from the girls in front of you. You snap your head up and realize Rose is leaning in and whispering something that you can’t quite hear to Kanaya. Whatever it is, though, is making Kanaya smirk at you and she slowly starts shuffling over to you and…

Shit, this is what you just did to Rose. You need to…

“Well, that’s quite unfair of me…you helped me and Kanaya enjoy ourselves, but you haven’t gotten much enjoyment for yourself, have you?” Rose smirks to you as she starts sliding up as well, and now Kanaya’s already sitting next to you and grabbing your arm and shit you’re trapped already aren’t you. “Please, at least allow us to return the favor…”

Rose’s hands reach out and cup your spheres, and even through the fabric the sensation makes you sigh a bit. Damn it, you’ve been so into it your body’s on the edge. Kanaya wraps her arms around your waist as she leans in and kisses your neck, and the tiniest of sighs escapes your lips. Yeah, you’re trapped all right. Even if there was a way out, you’re pretty sure your body wouldn’t be able to pull off the escape.

Of course, you could think of worse fates than to be sandwiched between two beautiful women intent on pleasuring you. You could even say you’re pretty happy at this latest development.


	8. Enjoying the moment

Rose wastes very little time dealing with your swimsuit, as her hands deftly move to the straps on your shoulders and push them down, exposing your chest to the air. She starts massaging your breasts carefully, her fingers playing with the hard cobalt nubs before she brings her lips to them, sending a shock of pleasure through you. You sigh and pull her in close to you, causing her to intensify her assault as her tongue begins rolling around your nipple.

Kanaya finishes up her kissing routine on your neck, as her hands begin to drift up your body as well. She grabs your swimsuit, much of which is still clinging to your body, and starts slowly pulling it down, revealing your stomach and getting all the way down to your pubes. You lift your knees up, one at a time, allowing her to finish the job and pull your swimsuit off entirely.

You’re fully exposed now, which causes you to blush a bit…fortunately, you’ve already done much more embarrassing things today, which makes it easier to cope with this new embarrassment being naked in the presence of much more attractive people. Your body isn't as curvy as your present company…really, you don’t really feel like have much going on at all, to your constant annoyance. Sure, your spheres are there, but they’re not that big, and you’ve always felt your butt was just kinda boney. 

You’ve tried to offset all that by staying fit, so you’ve got a bit…a small bit, but still…of muscle to you, especially around your abs, to complement your otherwise thin body and give yourself a nice lithe look. Still, while you rock your tight bod for all its worth, you’ve always personally found the more graceful curves of girls like Rose and Kanaya more appealing. 

Of course, Rose doesn’t seem to mind the lack of size to your spheres, given how she’s continuing to lap and suck at them with a quite welcome gusto. And a glance over tells you Kanaya’s got no objections with your look either, or if she does she’s got a funny way of showing it. She’s biting her lower lip as her eyes dart from your spheres to your nook, and her hands roam to your stomach, with her fingers softly rubbing your abs. 

Rose seems to be enjoying herself quite well, and you haven’t messed with Kanaya all that much yet, so you owe her some attention as well. You reach out and wrap your arm around her waist, trying push the pleasure Rose is giving you out of your mind as you ask her, “Having f-fun there, Maryam?”

“I can’t say I’m not enjoying the view…among other things.” Kanaya’s voice is much steadier than your own as she continues to caress your stomach, though her hand occasionally dips just a bit lower, drawing a soft moan from you. “I suppose Rose was right…this has turned into quite the enjoyable experience.”

“D-don’t disagree…with you there…still…” Your eyes start drifting now, and it comes to your attention that your handsy friend here has still maintained a little bit of her modesty, as the bottoms of her swimsuit have managed to remain on thought this little rendezvous. That simply won’t do. “I can think of a…a few ways to improve things…starting with…”

Your hand slides down from her waist and finds the fabric of her bottoms, slipping under the waistband and tugging them down a bit. Kanaya squirms as she realizes what you’re doing, laying her head on your shoulder as she tries to protest, “N-no, there’s…you don’t need to…”

“Sure I do…you should get to…mmmn…enjoy this just as m-much…as we have…” Your hand continues to slide those bottoms down, though not without difficulty, as Rose is making things tough on you by stepping up her game with your spheres. You can ignore it though, at least long enough to get Fussyfangs on board. You lean just a bit closer to her, you mouth right up next to her ear, and you whisper to her, “Besides…it was such a n-nice swimsuit…I’d hate to see it get…all messy…”

Kanaya shivers, but the overall squirming in her hips lessens, and after a bit more trouble you manage to slide her bottoms off her hips entirely and down her legs. You can see her nook now, the raven hair neatly trimmed just above her lovely slit. You can’t really admire it for long, though, because once the bottoms are most of the way down her leg, Kanaya hand comes up to your cheek and she pulls you into a kiss, pulling the bottoms the rest of the way down herself before kicking them off to the side.

As you return her kiss, your mind drifts for a moment. This is quite different from your makeouts with Rose, which were the opening steps of a highly pleasurable caliginous competition. But this is still very nice…especially because you’re not trying to overthink it…or, really, think anything at all. You aren’t trying to impress a potential kismesis or anything like that…it’s simply that you’re aroused, she’s aroused, and you’re both enjoying the moment.

And what a moment it is. You’ve got both your arms wrapped around beautiful women…one arm around your new kismesis, holding her tight to your chest, and the other around her matesprit, returning her kiss as your tongues swirl together. You could get used to this.

Your hand, no longer busy with removing Kanaya’s last article, had returned to caressing her hips, but now you’re starting to want more, and that nook looks very inviting. You slide the hand to the soft flesh of her lower torso, and you feel her jump slightly against you, but she isn’t trying to ward you away as she had before. With nothing trying to stop it, you hand brushes against her soft hair and finds the wet slit, and you start to tease it with very light gestures. That’s still enough to get Kanaya to shudder and sigh into you mouth and wow you need to do more of that, because damn, that’s an incredible feeeEEEL-

“Mhaah…I hope I’m…nah…not being forgotten…mmm…down here.” Rose, despite still being held to your chest, has noticed where your attention has gone and decided to get it back in a very similar way. One of her hands has left your chest and found your nook, which she is going after with…let’s just say SIGNIFIC8NTLY more forceful gestures than the ones you’ve employed to such nice effect on Kanaya. Your legs suddenly feel wobbly, as you’ve been on your knees for a while BEFORE Rose started fingering you, and you slip backwards, falling on your back and taking Kanaya down with you.

Kanaya’s head is laying next to yours now, her hips right beside your own as well, as you both look to Rose. Lalonde slides down your body, on hand still all up in your nook, while the other reaches out for Kanaya’s hips. As she reaches her destination, she gives you a smirk and mutters, “Not to mention…I believe I’ve enjoyed two orgasms already…one from each of you…so it’s only fair I return the favor...”

“R-Rose…mmnaaah!” Kanaya’s words are cut off immediately, as Rose’s fingers take the place of your own in caressing Maryam’s slit. Your hand slides out as your mind goes blank, because Rose’s lips just pressed down on your nook and started licking and kissing and fuck you can’t think right now. This is utterly incredible and you don’t know how Rose lasted more than a few seconds when you did this to her.

She keeps this pattern, eating you out while fingering Kanaya, for a moment before switching it up, moving her tongue to Kanaya’s nook while her fingers return to torment yours. You grunt in frustration, which you doubt she heard over the intense moaning she’s pulling out of Kanaya. Your mind hasn’t cleared much at all, but you still have the wherewithal to think to quiet her, reaching out for her mouth and crashing your lips into hers, furiously kissing her while Rose drives you both to the edge. 

Kanaya would be the first one to break, as the combined sensations of your mouth and Rose’s tongue are too much for her, and you feel her body convulse as she moans into you once more. She twitches for a moment before going limp, and looking down you see Rose lift up from Kanaya’s nook, a few drops of jade liquid near her mouth, which she quick wipes off with her arm before turning her gaze back to you.

Yeah, you’re not gonna object at this point. You spread your legs for her with a smile, which she returns as she brings her lips to your slit once more, her tongue skillfully darting around and poking all your sensitive spots. You squirm a little bit, but you aren’t fighting it at all, and she keeps up her pace until everything goes white.

……………………

You slowly come back to reality as you try to catch your breath. That…wow. Hoo. Highly satisfied customer here. Damn did you come hard. You can’t even remember if you screamed or not, because you were so lost in your orgasm to notice. You look down, peering over your heaving breasts to see Rose lift her head up, again wiping off a few drops of your cerulean pail off her mouth which is pretty much the hottest thing ever, though you don’t think you could even BE more aroused than you already are.

“Haaah…and…with that…” Rose crawls forward a little bit and lays down between you and a still-wiped out Kanaya, her head between your chests. “…I think we’re even.”

“Ha…guess…guess so.” You weakly laugh in response, and poke Rose lightly in the head. “So…did I pass…the kismesis audition?”

“Hah…and here I was wondering if I passed yours.” Rose chuckles back as well, before settling into her spot and rubbing her head in your chest a bit. “Mmm…yeah, I think so. I plan to get used to this feeling.”

“Good…we’re agreed then. Now…” You push her off your chest, pushing her over into Kanaya’s bosom instead. “…get off of me. You’re damn heavy, and I’m kinda beat.”

“Huhu...fair enough. Besides, Kanaya’s pillows are softer than yours, anyway.” Rose gets her dig in before snuggling up next to her matesprit. Kanaya looks down at her with a smile, wrapping an arm around her and pulling Rose close. And you guess that ‘pillow’ joke wasn’t all in jest, as a moment later you can hear her breathing soften as she drifts off to sleep.

“…out already, huh?” With some effort, you manage to roll over onto your side, propping yourself up with your arm as you smirk at the admittedly pretty cute sight. “Well, I guess she finished her side of the job fairly well, so I’ll cut her some slack. Also, it’s no fun making fun of her once she’s asleep.”

“Mmm…yeah…” Kanaya mutters quietly in response, half hearing your words as she slowly strokes Rose’s blonde hair. Don’t think she’s actually listening to you. Or she’s ignoring you. You don’t really care which, but with Rose asleep, you don’t have any other options for pillow talk at the moment.

“You’ve been fairly quiet for a while now, Fussyfangs.” Your eyebrow curls up as you make a second go at conversation. “You doing all right?”

“Oh…yes, I’m fine…” Kanaya acknowledges you this time, turning her head to look over at you. “Sorry…still…recovering a bit from…well, everything. This all happened quite suddenly.”

“Yeah…I’ll be honest, I sure didn’t come along on Strider’s ‘beach fun times’ trip expecting to find a new kismesis.” You chuckle to yourself as you glance down at said kismesis. Damn, this is a nice angle. Okay, talking with Kanaya, try not to stare at that gorgeous ass too obviously. “But hey, you won’t hear any complaints outta me. I’d call today some pretty high quality fun-times, don’t you think?”

“I think we’re in agreement on that assessment. And I get the feeling we’ll be doing something like this again, considering our…” Kanaya glanced down at Rose again when her sentence stopped suddenly, as something sent her into a giggle fit.

Well, this is a bit unusual. “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden, Maryam?”

“Hehe…it’s just…” Kanaya steadies herself again, trying not to wake the still slumbering girl resting on her spheres. “…I was just thinking…trolls, as a species, place an incredible amount of importance on being able to maintain a relationship with both a matesprit and a kismesis. You could even say our entire society back on Alternia was based on those relationships, yes?”

“Uh…I guess?” You don’t really think much about Alternia anymore, since Alternia reminds you of having to care for that goddamn asshole of a lusus. “What’s your point?”

“Don’t you find is a bit funny…” Kanaya smiled as she lays her head back down in the sand. “Despite the fact that we’ve had the need for both red and black romance ingrained in us since we were children, the first people to actually fill both quadrants at a time…are humans. Who’ve only known about troll culture for a few years, and who never even considered black romance possible for them until not that long ago.”

“Oh…huh.” Yeah…wow, yeah, she’s right. Up till now, John’s the only person you know who’s been able to successfully manage both a red and black relationship at once. Now that you’ve signed on as her kismesis, Rose’s in the same category as well. “I didn’t even think about that…man. Plus, all of us who ARE in relationships are dating humans, so we can’t make a useable pail! Damn. Kinda letting troll-kind down here, aren’t we?”

“Perhaps…well, I suppose dating a human in the first place isn’t in the best interest of troll-kind, either.” Kanaya rolls her eyes, though the smile never leaves her face…heh, she looks good when she’s happy like that. “Still, in the interest of our people’s futures, we should probably think of something to do about that.”

“I guess…hmmm.” You think to yourself for a second about the remaining possible options before looking back to Kanaya and muttering, “Feel anything black for Karkat?”

“I’m afraid not. At all.” Kanaya shakes her head very quickly to refuse. “How about you…would you consider him as a matesprit?”

“…nope. Can’t see that happening.” You roll your head up to look at the sky again. “I mean…he’s cute when he shuts up, so maybe as a fling? But I can’t imagine I could go long-term red with Vantas without one or both of us going fucking crazy.”

“Well that lessens our options quite a bit.” Kanaya shrugs in surrender. “We’ll either have to try and track down Aradia and beg her to have sex with one of us, or find out if our deceased comrades, alt-selves and dancestors can produce usable pails. That we can then collect and take back from the dream bubbles. Not sure which option is less likely there.”

“Boy, those choices just fill ya with confidence, don’t they?” You chuckle and start expending the effort to sit up, as you’re tired of laying in sand. “Guess the second one is funnier, going around asking a bunch of fucking ghosts if they’ve got any…”

You freeze as your body halfway is off the ground. This train of thought just brought something else to mind. Oh no. You look down, and send the briefest of glances towards your stomach, your pelvis, and…

You plop back to the ground, and you can feel your face burning up as you’re sure you must be blushing like mad. Cursing under your breath, you bring your hands to you face as you try to hide your embarrassment, but it’s no use. Kanaya give you a worried look and asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Fuuuuuuuucking…just…goddamn…well…guess it’s my turn for an awful realization.” You can’t even look Kanaya in the face as you lift a finger, pointing down towards your hips, which remain quite close to Kanaya’s, and mutter, “…our pails are totally mixing down there.”

Kanaya’s face changes shades from grey to bright jade in an instant, and she lifts her head just enough to witness the terrible sight for herself. Because of how close your hips are positioned, your separate pails, which Rose so loving coaxed out of you, landed close enough on the ground and managed to intermix, a completely fucking debauched slurry of your color-coded genetic material. She flops her head backwards with lightning speed, and her hand flies up to her eyes as she wails, “Oh fuck no…why…”

“Great! Guess we don’t need to worry about ghost pails or anything like that!” You continue to flail in place, blocking your eyes with your hands. “Nope, we’ll just get a human to make us drop our pails in the goddamn sand! Fucking BRILLIANT!”

“Mmmm…it’s…hard to sleep with you two yelling, you know.” You can hear Rose stirring, obviously brought back to the waking world by your cries. “What exactly is worth the commotion?”

“Oh, nothing! Nothing at all, just the MOST EMBARRASSING THING I’VE SEEN IN ALL MY SWEEPS.” You can’t calm down even a little at this bullshit. You refuse to allow your hands to leave your face, in the chance they might slip and make you see that again.

Even though your eyes remained blocked to all light that might involve blue and green liquids swirling together, you can feel Rose shift next to you as she sits up. She’s quiet for a moment, apparently taking in the horror with no sense of fucking shame, before she says, “Oh, right, this is some weird troll reproductive thing, isn’t it?”

“Rose dear I appreciate you trying to lighten the mood but that is really not helping.” Kanaya talks at a mile a minute as she similarly writhes in embarrassment. 

You open a crack in your fingers just a bit to see Rose looking down at the thing which haha TOTALLY isn’t actually happening down there! She gives Kanaya a quick glance, then does the same for you, before sighing and grumbling, “I suppose I’ll have to clean this up if we want to actually get back to the others sometime soon, won’t I?”

That’s…no, y’know what? Done. You’re fucking done. You don’t want to think about this, or anything, possibly ever again. You need to not be here. 

You need to be someone else. ANYONE ELSE, RIGHT NOW.


	9. ====> VRISKA: Be anyone else, right now.

====> VRISKA: Be anyone else, right now.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to give this one to Dave.”

“Oh, ARE you? Gee, what a fucking shock, who could have guessed that THIS BULLSHIT was going to happen. Oh, wait…I DID! I did when this entire fucking bulgesniffing contest started!”. Ah, good old shoutynubs, going from zero to tantrum in the blink of an eye.

“Dude, I don’t know what you could be implying. I hope you aren’t trying to say that our totally fucking impartial judge is being biased in any way, because that would be all hells of wrong.”

“Absolutely. I am nothing if not completely impartial in all of this.” You adjust your anime shades, remaining cool as a cucumber through all these allegations. You being DIRK STRIDER, of course. Often-times cool dude and current totally fucking impartial judge of the aforementioned bulgesniffing contest – or, to be slightly more accurate, a contest in the noble art of SANDCASTLE MAKING, between an overly shouty alien dude and an impeccably cool ectobiological relative. And to think, one would call your ability to remain unbiased during the proceedings into question.

You and your friends have come down to the beach on the suggestion of said ecto-relative, Dave Strider, for some chill hang out times. Your whole group isn’t here, however…two of the trolls, Vriska and Terezi, are running late…very late, come to think of it. Rose and Kanaya said they were talking a “walk” (nudge nudge wink wink they're definitely banging right now) and headed off a while ago. John said he was gonna explore the beach a while back, too, and Roxy went after him not that much later.

So only about half your party is currently gathered around base camp. Jade and Jane are still in the water, enjoying a good swim. Jake got out a while ago, and he’s currently trying to set up a volleyball net just a bit away from where you are, but from the looks of things, the net got all tangled and is giving him a hard time. You’d go help, but as you mentioned, there’s a bit of a competition going on, and it’s your job to decide who claims the victory. 

“I can’t believe you’re honestly going to pretend that your castle is IN ANY FUCKING WAY superior to mine.” Shockingly, Karkat Vantas continues to challenge your judgment. The nerve of some people. “A SINGLE SOLITARY GLANCE at our castles would be enough to tell that mine is nothing short of TOTAL PERFECTION. I built an impenetrable fortress, carved out fortifications and crafted an estate worthy of Her Imperious Condescension herself! I SCULPTED these towers, using nothing more than my hands and these simple tools, the tools of an honest craftsman! I even carved out a little moat, filled with water that I PERSONALLY fetched from the goddamn ocean! And you expect me to believe that your decision to crown this piece of hoofbeast excrement Dave tossed together the better of the two is without bias? WELL I’M SORRY TO SAY THAT I CANNOT BUY THAT BULLSHIT.”

“You’re just mad that the judge clearly has better taste in castles than you do.” Dave remains completely stoic as Karkat finishes his diatribe. “I focused on the simpler things. Things that a true lover of sandcastles would know are a mark of work of the highest fucking quality. There’s no bias at all involved in a judge who has a good eye for that shit.”

“You just put a bunch of human phalluses all over the place!” Karkat shouted, pointing at Dave’s impressive dick castle. It’s true. After a certain point, Dave stopped building anything castle-like at all and simply started putting dicks everywhere, either by drawing them on the walls or sculpting huge penis towers towards the back. This has left the actual structure of his castle a total fucking mess, with the dicks being the only real selling point.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way. “Karkat, I know you’re upset with losing, but I think we all know that the human dong is a mark of architectural genius. Dave figured out the perfect ways to employ these dicks throughout his work, and that is worthy of the victory.”

Karkat looks like he wants to continue his argument, but a cheerful shout from the direction of the water stops his words in his throat. You look over and see Jade Harley waving with a smile on her face as she comes out of the water, stopping for a second to shake some of the seawater off in a manner befitting her fuzzy white dog ears before heading over to you. Not far behind her is Jane Crocker, who picks up the towel that they had placed nearby and wipes her face off before she too heads over to your group. 

“Hey guys! Are the castles done ye…oh jeez, Dave, what’s going on with your castle?” Jade mocks offense as she catches sight of Dave’s creation.

“Architectural genius, as we’ve been trying to tell Karkat.” Dave answers much more matter-of-factly than you’re used to for him. His face doesn’t show it and it's almost imperceptible, at least to people who aren’t awesome guys like you, well-versed in the subtle body language of cool dudes, but Dave’s a little bit off his game right now. You’re guessing the sudden arrival of the young ladies, their bodies still wet from the ocean, may have something to do with it.

“To be honest, that’s about what I was expecting from the Strider camp.” Jane chuckles as she reviews the two castles. “That said, wow, Karkat, this is really good! You did a great job.”

“Oh…er, th-thanks, Crocker.” It’s always a minor miracle when Vantas has trouble finding words, but he’s doing everything in his power not to ogle the slick girl-flesh now standing next to him, keeping his eyes locked on his creation at all times. He’s having trouble hiding his blushing, however, as his cheeks get quite red, to the girls’ amusement.

You, on the other hand, are unmoved by the slick girl-flesh, so damned if you’re not gonna ogle it up. Let’s break down what’s going on here. Jade’s got on a one-piece navy blue suit that you teased her about earlier, asking if it came from some anime fetish stuff and she just took the name tag off. The way she denied it informed you that you were probably a hundred percent right about that. Jane’s also in a one-piece suit, but hers comes in light-blue polka dots with a few frills here and there. Very cute, but you know for a fact she was gifted a goddamn choice bikini by Roxy yesterday (the description of said bikini also came from Roxy) and she was quite displeased to see Jane show up in her more conservative attire. A fact she informed you of repeatedly, along with some mutterings about pulling Jane out of her shell.

Of course, you know that Dave and Karkat have probably only seen the girls’ swimsuits by way of the glances they’re stealing at their chests. Yeah, it’s obvious to everyone that the Crocker-Harleybert girls won the lotto in the boobs department. Jade also lucked out with the English genes and is the tallest of the human girls, with a few inches more than Rose and Roxy about an inch on both John and Dave, and she’s got an athletic build to go with her ample chest which makes her look damn fine. Jane, on the other hand, is the shortest of the girls, but she’s also the biggest, as her chest goes a bit beyond ample, and her fine hips give her curves in all the right places.

That’s according to Roxy, anyway. Like you said, you’re unmoved by girl-flesh, so most of your analysis on the choiceness attribute of the ladies you know comes from her.

Karkat apparently agrees with her analysis, however, as he’s still trying to look anywhere but the boobs, aside from every now and then when his eyes betray him and he blushes like a schoolgirl. Dave’s managing to keep up his chill look, but your cool dude-ese tells you his eyes are being drawn in as well. Jade, oblivious as always to the wandering eyes, looks up to you with a beaming smile on her face and asks, “So, who won?”

“There’s been some consternation about that.” You shrug and look over at Karkat for a second, though he doesn’t notice as he continues to fail to resist the temptation. “Accusations of bias have been tossed around quite liberally, I would think.”

“That wouldn’t happen to be because you picked Dave’s castle just because of his…how did he put it…‘architectural genius’, now would it?”, asks Jane, her eyebrow arching up.

“Now that’s a dirty insinuation, even if it just so happens to be completely correct.” You answer Jane flatly, getting a giggle out of her in response. Karkat grumbles some curses at you under his breath, but he’s still fighting the allure of human chesticles to do anything more than that.

“Maybe we should vote too, Jane! We could be a judge panel!” Jade flashes an adorable buck-toothed smile as her ears perk up. “That’ll clear things up! All right, let’s take a clooose look at these…”

“Hold your horses, Jade…if we’re gonna do this, we need to do it right.” Jane wags her finger to temper her sorta-daughter’s enthusiasm. “We are not nearly classy enough right now to give the job of judging its due. What we need is…”

“Oh, how silly of me…don’t worry, Jane, I gotcha covered.” Jade smirks a little mischievously. She raises her hand up, and a green glow lights up from her palm. Uh-oh, she’s using her baloneyfuck space powers. You wonder for a second what these dorks are up to now, but the green glow subsides quickly enough, and resting in Jade’s hand are a pair of Jane’s fake moustaches, the ones she occasionally uses in her shitty disguises or detective costumes.

“Hoo hoo, brilliant work as always, dearie.” Jane smiles as she grabs the curly fake mustache and sticks it on her upper lip. “It’s so nice to have someone on the same wavelength as you.”

“Isn’t it though?” Jade giggles as she applies the remaining face caterpillar to her own lip. She twitches it for a second, getting it in position before she announces, “Ok, NOW we’re ready to do this thing right.”

“Oh my god, please just get this over with.” Dave is grumbling impatiently. You don’t even need to be fluent in the language of cool bros to know that he doesn’t seem to care for the sight of moustaches on the hot girls he was absolutely NOT eyeing up a second ago. Karkat doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it any more than Dave, but Karkat’s also been trying to look at anything but Jane and Jade for the last few minutes, so not much has really changed there.

“Yes, of course…alright, serious time, let’s focus.” Jane playfully claps her hands, and her face goes flat as she curls her moustache, inspecting Karkat’s castle. Jade giggles for another second or so before she follows Jane’s lead, staring at the castle and “hmmmm”ing as she strokes her own ‘stache. After a moment, Jane puts on a rather terrible French accent and mutters, “Zo, your thoughts on Monsieur Vantas’s submission?”

“Hmm, yezz. Iz an impressive work, no?” Jade tries to deepen her voice and sound more judge-like as she hands in her evaluation, but her attempt at a French accent fails as badly as her ecto-mom’s. “I especially like ze fortifications…a show of good craftsmanship, zhere. Would you happen to agree, Judge Crocker?”

“I do indeed, ze fortifications are quite stunning. I…hang on, switch with me, I want the Clouseau instead.” Jane takes off her Poirot moustache, making a quick switch with Jade for the less-curly Clouseau ‘stache. “Yes, much better…*ahem*, I find ze finer details quite impressive as well. Ze parapets in particular are very well-made. I believe zis submission deserves high marks.”

“I zhink we are in agreement zhere az well.” Jade nods stoically as she turns to the cock castle. “Now zhen, for Monsieur Strider’s submission.”

“Hmmm, yezz, Monsieur Strider’s work.” Jane also looks over to what Dave had created, silently analyzing the structure. “…Your thoughts, Judge Harley?”

“Hmmm, yezz, well…” Jade twirls the curls of her new moustache for a moment longer before turning to Jane and simply stating, “There certainly are a lot of dicks on his castle, aren’t there?”

“Why, yezz, there are quite a high number of dicks on Monsieur Strider’s work.” Jane nodded solemnly, returning Jade’s as she voiced her agreement. “Very well, I think I’ve made my decision. Are you ready az well?” 

“I am indeed.” Jade also nods as she stares at Jane for a second, before the two of them crack up nearly simultaneously. Still laughing, Jade walks over to bright red-faced Karkat and raises the troll’s arm up in the air, cheerfully declaring, “Your winner: Monsieur Vantas!”

“Oh, what, boooo.” Dave mocks offense at his victory being taken away. “I’m launching a protest, Judge Strider. It’s clear to me that these new judges have a clear bias against both Striderdom and dong-chitecture.”

“Man, you know I’m with you there. Unfortunately, this was totally democratic, so any appeals are gonna have to go to the High Court of Judgering.” Your voice is completely steady as you play along with this nonsense. “Their cases usually take a few years to work through the system, so you’ll have to accept the loss for today.”

“That’s fine, also, I didn’t really care anyway.” Dave shrugs as he looks back to the girls. “Now can you two please take those goddamn staches off?”

“Ha ha, alright, I suppose we’ve tormented you long enough, Dave.” Jade giggles as she lets go of Karkat’s arm and removes her Poirot moustache, Jane doing the same to her Clouseau. Jane hands the Clouseau to Jade, and in very quick fashion the fake facial hair is zapped away to wherever Jade pulled them from in the first place. 

“Right, well…good! Yes, thank fucking god that’s finally over, and order has been restored to the universe, thanks to a pair of kooky broads in ridiculously shitty disguises.” Karkat seems to have recovered his mojo a bit, though you can’t tell if it’s due to him winning or because the girls aren’t all ‘stache-y anymore or, possibly, because Jade was holding onto his arm for a decent period of time. “So…now what?”

“Eh…I dunno.” Dave shrugs, looking back to the castles. “Knock ‘em down?”

“…what. WHAT!” Karkat takes a second to get up to speed before he starts really bellowing. “KNOCK THEM DOWN?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Do you know how GODDAMN LONG it took me to BUILD this fucking thing?! And now you just want to KNOCK THEM DOWN? You think I’m just gonna…”

“H1111Y4444!!!!”

Suddenly, a blur whooshes by you, and a cloud of sand kicks up in front of you, where the castles had been standing a second ago. It takes a second to clear, but once the sand settles down again you see Terezi Pyrope standing where there were once two castles, having delivered a huge kick in the area where they had been standing. Dave’s dick castle has pretty much completely collapsed, its lack of structure proving to be its downfall, and half of Karkat’s castle has been reduced to sand as well. Impressively, the other half doesn’t look that much worse for wear, so you guess he must have built it pretty sturdy. Extra points for Vantas, you guess. Not like it really matters anymore, though. 

There’s a bit of coughing as the sand gets around quite a bit, and Jade’s the first one to recover her voice to shout, “Terezi…*koffkoff*…when did…no, what the hell was that for!” 

“Well, I kept hearing Karkat yell ‘KNOCK TH3M DOWN’, flailing like a wiggler. I dunno what he was talking about, but I smelled something standing there, so I listened to him!” Terezi cackles as she explains herself. “So, did I get whatever it was?

It's dead quiet for a second. The sand is out of the air, so everyone’s managed to stop coughing, and now they’re just looking at the devastation that has been wrought. After a moment, you all look to Karkat, who’s mouth is hanging open as he falls to his knees, a faraway look in his eyes.

Then you all look back to Terezi. Not hearing any response, she just blinks before cocking her head and asking, “WH4T?”

“Oh god, Terezi, what the hell did you do now?” You turn your head and see John making his way back to the rest of the group, looking a little exasperated…no, more like exhausted, actually. Huh. And Roxy’s right there with him, wrapped around his arm in that cute couple-y kinda way, with a bit of a glow to her that you’re sure the others…well, the ones here, Rose’d probably notice it too…will probably miss. Double huh. You’re doing some math in your head, adding up John + Roxy + Terezi + Gone for a while, and you’ve got a pretty fucking good idea as to what that all equals. You’ll stuff that knowledge in the vault for the moment, though.

“Hey! Stop assuming that I did something wrong, just because these losers are being all weird!” Terezi snaps back at John, standing up and dusting herself off. “All I did was listen to the requests of a friend and act upon them with swiftness and resolve! What’s so wrong about that?”

“Well, considering you’re standing in what looks like a pair of busted up sandcastles, I’m gonna go ahead and guess you effed up, Rez.” Roxy chuckles, glancing over to you and offering you her fist. “C’mon, back me up, Di-Stri.”

“Well, as usual, you aren’t exactly wrong, Rox.” You give her a solid fist bunp before pointing to the spot of the mostly demolished sandcastles. “See, Dave and Karkat here had just finished up a sandcastle-off…you should have seen the dong castle Dave made, it was fucking exquisite…and were debating whether or not to demolish the castles for fun since the contest was over. A decision we no longer need to make, seeing as Terezi has clearly made it for us.”

“Oh man, you’re telling me I missed a castle fulla dicks? Dammit, Rezi, you need to listen next time!” Roxy scolds Terezi, who just shrugs and sticks her tongue out at Roxy. Yeah, you’re sure she’s learned her lesson. Roxy sighs and looks to Dave and Karkat and continues, “Man, sorry guys, they sounded cool you shoulda decided what happened to ‘em.”

Dave shrugs in response to Roxy’s apology. “Oh, I’m fine…the Strider Dick Fortress will always live on in my heart, and all. But, uh…”

He looks over in Karkat’s direction. The poor kid is still down, though you can now hear him slowly muttering “…that was the East Wing…” very quietly. 

Jane goes over to him, patting his back and saying, “I’m sorry, Karkat…at least we got to see how wonderful it was, right?” Jade also kneels down next to Karkat, trying to cheer him up by rubbing the back of his head. You don’t really see if he’s in a state of mind to notice what they’re saying, but you’ve got a good feeling that getting consoled by those two stone cold foxes might cheer him up a bit.

“Oh shit, man, I shoulda played more hurt when I had the chance. Dammit, that’s twice Vantas has beaten me today.” Dave smacks his forehead and mutters under his breath, but just loud enough that you and Roxy can hear him, which draws a chuckle out of her and a smirk out of you. 

“Hey guys! Over here!” You hear another voice calling out now, as Jake English is calling over to you, next to a fully assembled volleyball net. “Sorry it took so blasted long to get this fucking cretin of a net up, but we’re good now! If you’re ready for a rousing game of volleyball, you can come on over!”

Wow, Jake sure picked a perfectly weird time to finish with that damn net. You’re wondering how you should respond, but before anyone else can make a move, Karkat himself starts laughing loudly. He manages to get up to his feet, walking over to Terezi and getting up in her face as he shouts, “VOLLEYBALL! Why yes, that sounds like an EXCELLENT FUCKING IDEA. Thanks, English! Hey, Terezi, why don’t we get a game going, your team versus mine?”

“Ooooo, you’re challenging M3 to a game, Karkat?” Terezi flashes all her pointy teeth as she mocks him. “Why, it’s been soooo long since we’ve competed in anything! Tell me, what brought this about?”

“Oh you know, a couple things! It’ll probably be fun, we might enjoy ourselves, and BECAUSE I’M GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU.” Oh shit, you can see Vantas’s veins about to pop from here. That is one seriously pissed off troll dude over there. Mental note, don’t fuck with a troll and his elegantly constructed sandcastles, ever, for any reason.

“Guess you need to burn off some steam, eh? Alright, Vantas, you’re on! Team Pyrope is taking you down!” To her credit, Terezi is completely unfazed by Karkat’s rage, cackling in his face. Karkat stomps off without another word, going over to Jade and Jane, both of whom nod to him and give him a high five. So looks like Team Vantas is already set, then. Team Pyrope seems fairly obvious as well, as Terezi shouts over in Egbert’s direction, “C’mon, John, Roxy, let’s do this!”

“What? Why do I have to help you after that shit you just pulled?” Apparently John’s a bit indignant at his being drafted into Team Pyrope.

“Well, OBV1OUSLY because you think I did nothing wrong and want to defend my good name, right? Or, in the 3XTR3M3LY small chance that you DON’T think that, then you’ll do it because…well…” Terezi smirks as she leans into John, whispering something that you can’t hear.

John can, though, and by the way his face is getting red very quickly, you’re guessing it’s a rather convincing argument. Terezi’s smirk has only widened as she backs away from John, who drops his head and mutters, “Fine, fine…I’ll play with you. Just this once.”

“H3H3H333…excellent choice, John.” Terezi turns her head from her hate-friend over to the girl still latched onto John’s arm, who’s blushing a bit too…you’re guessing she probably could hear a bit more of what Terezi was whispering to John. “You’re in, of course, right Lalonde?”

“Oh, uh, you’d know usually I’d be ALL OVER this shit, Rez, but I’m, uh…not feeling so hot. Yeah, stomach’s acting up a bit.” Roxy chooses just now to grab at her stomach in the most transparent dodge you’ve ever fucking seen. “Ohhhh yeah…that’s the stomach, all right. Uuurgh. Sorry, Rez, but I’d probably be shitty out there anyway like this.”

“Hmph…all right, fine.” Terezi doesn’t seem to buy it, but for whatever reason doesn’t press the matter that hard. Instead, she gestures to you and Dave, saying, “Hey Striders! Lalonde’s a no-go, so which one of you coooool kids wants to help me stomp a nubby loser into the sand?”

“Uh…” Dave glances over to you, which is good timing as you do the same. You use the moment to use your Strider Telepathy, which is a true thing that is not bullshit at all. Okay, it’s mostly just being able to read each other, but still, you’re damn good at it. You wordlessly tell Dave you’d rather not get involved and you kinda want to chat with Roxy about some stuff. He receives your message and sends you back that that’s fine, because he doesn’t care and also there’s probably gonna be a lot of choice Harley/Crocker bouncing during this game that he’d rather not miss. You say alright, cool. Ogle it up, man. 

This whole process takes about half a second before Dave turns back to Terezi and says, “Yeah, sure, I’m in. Woo, Team Pyrope and all that noise.”

“Uuuugh…your lack of enthusiasm is aggravating, but I suppose it’ll have to do.” Terezi shakes her head as she stomps off towards the volleyball net, John and Dave not far behind. 

And, for some reason, Roxy not far behind them, following John to the game. A little slowly, you think to yourself. You cough loudly to get her attention, and she turns around and gives you a sheepish look. You walk over and quietly ask her, “Stomach problems, huh? Sounds bad. Maybe you should go lie down or something, no?”

“Oh, yeah, actually, it’s kinda coming and going, y’know?” She shrugs as she tries to keep up the grin on her face. “It’d be tough to do, like, SPORTS or stuff, but just watching and cheering won’t be too bad, I think. Well, anyway, Dirky baby, we should go…”

Without missing a beat, you quickly respond, “Uh huh. Sure. Alright, then follow-up: the sex must’ve been pretty good, wasn’t it?”

Roxy’s face gets a bit redder, but her grin only grows wider. “Uh oh, busted. Man, I can’t keep shit from you, can I?”

“If that was really your attempt at secrecy, I’d be wondering how you keep any shit from anyone.” You shake your head, before noticing that Roxy’s legs are a bit wobbly at the moment. You motion to the ground and ask her, “Here, why don’t we sit down before you fall on your ass.”

“Yeah, sure, but we can sit down by the game, can’t we? I can make it there okay, and I can lean on you a bit if I need to.” Roxy pointed over to the net, where the others were gathering.

You shrug, but allow Roxy to lean against you slightly as before you start walking, and mutter, “I don’t see why this isn’t a good place to sit. We can still pretty much see the whole game from here.” 

“Heheh…oooooh Dirk. Dirky. Di-Stri.” Roxy giggles and looks over to the teams getting into position. “I know you don’t care, but there’s probably gonna be a lot of choice Harley/Crocker bouncing during this game, and I’d rather not miss it.”

You roll your eyes. You forget at times that she and Dave are on the same wavelength more often than they’d like to admit. Sure, it might not be to Jade and Jane’s level, but it’s still kinda creepy at times. 

The two of you head over and sit down on a boulder near the volleyball nets. Jake has agreed to referee this little match, so he’s over by the sidelines with the ball as the teams get ready. Karkat still looks to be fuming with intense rage, while Terezi looks to be her usual cackling self. You kinda wonder how exactly she’s gonna be able to play volleyball considering the whole blind thing, but honestly she does so much stuff that would seem impossible without your eyesight, so why the fuck not volleyball? Honestly wouldn’t be the most absurd thing you’ve seen the blind girl pull off.

They haven’t started up yet, so you figure now’s your best chance to talk to Roxy before she goes all ogle-crazy. You quietly mutter, “So, fucking on the beach. Is it all it’s cracked up to be?”

“Eh…kinda? Could do without the sand getting fucking everywhere, tbh.” Roxy shrugs as she replies. “Also, not that the whole ‘fucking outdoors in public’ isn’t hot shit, but I’d probably take a good bed or couch over a solid-ass rock any day.”

“Duly noted.” You nod as you glance towards John and dammit, don’t stare at the shirtless kid. Why couldn’t he be wearing a T-shirt like Jake right now. Sure, Dave’s shirtless too, but his body’s similar enough to yours to kill off any titillation factor. Anyway, yeah, back to grilling Roxy. “So, I know you’d be up for the whole beach fling idea, but how exactly did you get Egbert to go along with it?”

“Oh, I’ve got mah ways. Wiles, you know, and witchy majyyyks. Sexy lady voodoo that gets dorky dudes hot and bothered when I want them to be.” Roxy mimics casting a spell at the moment, laughing at her own joke. “Yeah…anyway, long story short, it’s all Terezi’s fault for not wearing her bottoms all the time.”

You pause for a second. That…huh, those words do form a functional sentence. Weird, because together, they don’t seem like they’d make sense, and yet, wow. “Yeah…I’m gonna need you to give me just a bit more detail than that.”

“Okay, so it goes like this…” Roxy clears her throat before she continues. “I find Johnny after he gets away from us. He’s getting hassled by Rezi. Rezi isn’t wearing any fucking bottoms. I tell her, she starts flipping out. Then John teases her, and that flips her switch into full on spades-sexing horndog mode. And I’m there, watching her get started, so I’m like, oh boy, threesome on the beach. Awww yiss. So I get in there. And…yeah, it’s just fucking from then on, man.”

“Alright. Rad. That’s one fucking mystery solved.” You mutter, waiting for a second as the volleyball game gets started. Karkat serves to Terezi, who tries to bat it up for Dave to spike, but she hits it too hard, giving Jade the chance to get it first. 1-0, Vantas. Okay, back to sexy-time stories. “Terezi’s panties, then. What happened to those?”

“Apparently Vriska swiped ‘em.” Roxy states matter-of-factly as she watched the next rally, which ends with Jane diving to save one of Dave’s spikes and giving Jade another chance to hammer one home. 2-0. Roxy gives a cheer, though you can’t tell if it’s aimed more at the good play by Crocker or the bouncing going on with both those girls. Probably a little of Column A, a little of Column B.

And…yeah, this is the point where she’s supposed to say more, isn’t it? “…again, and not to criticize, but you’re really gonna need to go a bit more specific on some of these details.”

“Sorry, Dirky boy, but that’s about as much as I’ve got. Rezi didn’t know about it, either. But John says he saw Vriska tailing Terezi when all that started, and that she had the bottom with her. But I guess she dropped ‘em for us to find once we started getting busy.” Roxy stops to watch another big Jade spike. It’s 3-0 Vantas and Team Pyrope isn’t looking too hot, with the captain yelling at her teammates, who seem a bit too tired/uninterested to care about the game right now. “Actually, come to think of it, I only saw Vriska for a bit…when I first found John and Rezi, aaaaaand after I noticed she had been watching us fuck with Rose.”

Wait. What? “Could you repeat that last part?”

“Oh, right, probably shouldn’t have said that.” Roxy thinks for a bit, before glancing back at you with a smile. “Ah, well. Don’t tell John or Terezi, but yeah, we were totes being peeped on. Vriska and Rose were watching us…and I guess Kanaya was probably there, too, but I didn’t see her or anything.”

“……huh.” You really don’t know what to say to that. Like, sure, you can believe the spidertroll would be a hundred percent down with watching some choice fucking going on out in the open. You could believe a lot of things about the spidertroll, really. Rose, though…huh…hey, y’know, you’re missing the game. Yeah, it’s 4-1 now, after Karkat gave Team Pyrope their first points by missing long, followed by Terezi batting one into the net on her first service. 

This is not keeping your mind off Roxy’s story at all. Dammit. You glance back to Roxy and mutter, “So, uh…what happened after you saw them?”

“Eh, not much. I kept it on the DL, and they made a getaway. Then we wanted to get cleaned up, so we all went back to the showers and…uh…” Roxy’s words trail off, her face flushes a bit redder and her grin widens.

There’s that tell of hers again. Don’t even need your extensive knowledge of the many faces of the Ro-Lal to interpret that one. “Round 2 in the shower, huh? John’s got some stamina.”

“Heheh…don’t I know it.” Seriously, you don’t think she can grin any harder. Which, hey, good for her, took her a while to get things going in the romance department, she deserves to enjoy herself now that she’s there. “But, yeah, then we finished up and headed back here. And I haven’t seen Rose, Vriska or Kanaya since. They come back here?”

“Negative. Haven’t seen hide nor hair of the spidertroll yet, and you’d think we’d have caught the latter at least considering her ridiculous mane. Rose and her lady troll have been similarly absent since they went on their walk.” You shake your head, focusing on the game for a second. Score’s now 5-3. Team Pyrope got it close again by winning back-to-back points, before Jade made a terrific block on Dave’s spike attempt. Harley’s the clear MVP of this one so far, thanks to John being tired and Dave more focused on a certain bounciness.

“Thought’s they’d be back by now…unleeeeeessss…” Roxy’s grin shifts into a more mischievous smirk, as she glances around, looking down the beach and towards a few of the rock formations. She then looks back to you and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah…no comment.” Your eyes go back to the game. Jade’s continuing to dominate, Jane’s defending well, and Karkat’s serve is looking fierce. Score’s 7-3, and Terezi is looking none too pleased, while John and Dave look like they just want this to be over with.

“Whaaaat, not interested in wondering how Rose’s love life is turning out?” Roxy slides a little closer to you and gives you a little poke in the cheek. “You’re fine talking about mine, and you don’t shy away when discussing the rest of us and our various romances, but you always tend to clam up when it comes to Rose. What gives?”

“Nothing really ‘gives’, I’d just prefer not to talk about it behind her back. Wouldn’t be cool.” You watch Jade throw down another big spike before glancing over to Roxy, who’s staring at you with a ‘come on now’ look. Dammit, it sucks knowing she can read you about as well as you can read her. “Alright, it’s just…I’m still getting used to the whole ecto-thing, is all. Sure, she’s basically the same age as me, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s also my biological daughter. Makes it a little weird to speculate about what Sapphic sexy-times she’s getting up to, you know?”

“Awww…worrying what daddy’s little girl is getting up to?” Yeah, that’s the kind of shit you’re trying not to deal with. You try to shoot Roxy your most withering of glares, but that only makes her giggle harder. “Alright, alright, I’ll lighten up…still, I’ve seen you mess with Dave all the time about his personal biz, and he’s technically our kid too. So why not Rose?”

“See, the thing with Dave is he’s close enough to me that I can tell he doesn’t actually give a shit about it when I give him a hard time.” You glance at Dave as you answer, watching as he makes a good dive and saves the play, which Terezi puts home and makes the score…you can’t remember. Probably still Vantas a lot and Pyrope not as much, since Jade and Jane are still smiling even after losing that one. “Anyway, yeah, it’s easier to figure out the parts of Dave that are like me and the parts that are more like you, so I can tell how to deal with him. But Rose…I mean, you hang with her more than I do, so you’ve probably got her figured out pretty well, but I’m still getting used to it.”

“Well, then all you need to do is hang with her more!” Roxy claps her hand on your back as she smiles broadly. “Here, once beach fun-times are done, we’ll all have one big Strilonde get together, and you and her can talk about stuff some more and figure each other out. Trust me, it’ll be great.”

“Heh…well, you know I won’t be turning down opportunities to hang with such illustrious company.” You give her a tiny smirk and offer her your fist, which she cheerfully bunps back. “Anyway, yeah, we’ll just have to check with her once she…”

“Oh…it appears they’ve gotten a game started already. Looks like we’ve missed quite a bit, but it would seem that we’ve made it just in time to watch the finale.”

You turn your head quickly in response to the new voice that has just arrived. As if on cue, Rose has returned to your base camp, flanked as always by Kanaya. Surprisingly, however, it would seem her entourage has picked up a new member, as Vriska is also following her as they rejoin the rest of the group.

And, looking closely, you note that both Kanaya and Vriska have a bit of a blush to them, their respective cheeks a bit more jade and cerulean than usual.

And, though it’s a bit harder to detect, you can tell that Rose has just a bit of a glow to her as she looks over to where you and Roxy are sitting, giving the two of you a satisfied smirk.

You can practically hear Roxy’s smile growing wider as you bring your hand to your face and mutter, “Oh goddammit”, your words thankfully drowned out by the cheers from Jade and Jane as they celebrate another point won.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to /co/ Homestuck threads for the writing prompt, and all the readers for their encouragement. First real fic I've ever written, and it was a damn blast.
> 
> EDIT: Up for some more threesome smut? Check out the sorta-continuation fic, [Roxy's Threesome Addiction](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7190969), for the next installment of this series(?).


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